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Doug Larson
| “ | A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience. | ” |
| “ | Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties. | ” |
| “ | Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own. | ” |
| “ | Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
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| “ | If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. | ” |
| “ | If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.
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| “ | Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. | ” |
| “ | Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
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| “ | The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
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| “ | The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. | ” |
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