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Fran Lebowitz
American writer and humorist
| “ | All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable. | ” |
| “ | Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
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| “ | Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
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| “ | Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
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| “ | I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
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| “ | I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
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| “ | I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not. | ” |
| “ | If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.
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| “ | In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. | ” |
| “ | Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.
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