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P. J. O'Rourke
American humorist & political commentator
| “ | A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. | ” |
| “ | A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. | ” |
| “ | Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
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| “ | Drugs have taught an entire generation of Americans the metric system. | ” |
| “ | Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.
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| “ | Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
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| “ | Never fight an inanimate object. | ” |
| “ | Skiing consists of wearing $3,000 worth of clothes and equipment and driving 200 miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and drink. | ” |
| “ | The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
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| “ | The U.S. Constitution is less than a quarter the length of the owner's manual for a 1998 Toyota Camry, and yet it has managed to keep 300 million of the world's most unruly, passionate and energetic people safe, prosperous and free. | ” |
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