Robert Orben

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I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

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Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

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Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

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Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected.

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Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away.

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Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some smaller countries are neutral.

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There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

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To err is human--and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

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