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Henny Youngman
American (English-born) comedian
| “ | I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
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| “ | I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. | ” |
| “ | I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. | ” |
| “ | My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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| “ | When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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