Act 2 - Page 2

chronicles the things that have never happened, and couldn't possibly have happened. I believe that Memory is responsible for nearly all the three-volume novels that Mudie sends us.

MISS PRISM
Do not speak slightingly of the three-volume novel, Cecily. I wrote one myself in earlier days.

CECILY
Did you really, Miss Prism? How wonderfully clever you are! I hope it did not end happily? I don't like novels that end happily. They depress me so much.

MISS PRISM
The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what Fiction means.

CECILY
I suppose so. But it seems very unfair. And was your novel ever published?

MISS PRISM
Alas! no. The manuscript unfortunately was abandoned. [CECILY starts.] I use the word in the sense of lost or mislaid. To your work, child, these speculations are profitless.

CECILY
[Smiling.] But I see dear Dr. Chasuble coming up through the garden.

MISS PRISM
[Rising and advancing.] Dr. Chasuble! This is indeed a pleasure.

[Enter CANON CHASUBLE.]

CHASUBLE
And how are we this morning? Miss Prism, you are, I trust, well?

CECILY
Miss Prism has just been complaining of a slight headache. I think it would do her so much good to have a short stroll with you in the Park, Dr. Chasuble.

MISS PRISM
Cecily, I have not mentioned anything about a headache.

CECILY
No, dear Miss Prism, I know that, but I felt instinctively that you had a headache. Indeed I was thinking about that, and not about my German lesson, when the Rector came in.

CHASUBLE
I hope, Cecily, you are not inattentive.

CECILY
Oh, I am afraid I am.

CHASUBLE
That is strange. Were I fortunate enough to be Miss Prism's pupil, I would hang upon her lips. [MISS PRISM glares.] I spoke metaphorically. - My metaphor was drawn from bees. Ahem! Mr. Worthing, I suppose, has not returned from town yet?

MISS PRISM
We do not expect him till Monday afternoon.

CHASUBLE
Ah yes, he usually likes to spend his Sunday in London. He is not one of those whose sole aim is enjoyment, as, by all accounts, that unfortunate young man his brother seems to be. But I must not disturb Egeria and her pupil any longer.

MISS PRISM
Egeria? My name is Laetitia, Doctor.

CHASUBLE
[Bowing.] A classical allusion merely, drawn from the Pagan authors. I shall see you both no doubt at Evensong?

MISS PRISM
I think, dear Doctor, I will have a stroll with you. I find I have a headache after all, and a walk might do it good.

CHASUBLE
With pleasure, Miss Prism, with pleasure. We might go as far as the schools and back.

MISS PRISM
That would be delightful. Cecily, you will read your Political Economy in my absence. The chapter on the Fall of the Rupee you may omit.