Act 3

Third Act

SCENE

Morning-room at the Manor House.

[GWENDOLEN and CECILY are at the window, looking out into the garden.]

GWENDOLEN
The fact that they did not follow us at once into the house, as any one else would have done, seems to me to show that they have some sense of shame left.

CECILY
They have been eating muffins. That looks like repentance.

GWENDOLEN
[After a pause.] They don't seem to notice us at all. Couldn't you cough?

CECILY
But I haven't got a cough.

GWENDOLEN
They're looking at us. What effrontery!

CECILY
They're approaching. That's very forward of them.

GWENDOLEN
Let us preserve a dignified silence.

CECILY
Certainly. It's the only thing to do now. [Enter JACK followed by ALGERNON. They whistle some dreadful popular air from a British Opera.]

GWENDOLEN
This dignified silence seems to produce an unpleasant effect.

CECILY
A most distasteful one.

GWENDOLEN
But we will not be the first to speak.

CECILY
Certainly not.

GWENDOLEN
Mr. Worthing, I have something very particular to ask you. Much depends on your reply.

CECILY
Gwendolen, your common sense is invaluable. Mr. Moncrieff, kindly answer me the following question. Why did you pretend to be my guardian's brother?

ALGERNON
In order that I might have an opportunity of meeting you.

CECILY
[To GWENDOLEN.] That certainly seems a satisfactory explanation, does it not?

GWENDOLEN
Yes, dear, if you can believe him.

CECILY
I don't. But that does not affect the wonderful beauty of his answer.

GWENDOLEN
True. In matters of grave importance, style, not sincerity is the vital thing. Mr. Worthing, what explanation can you offer to me for pretending to have a brother? Was it in order that you might have an opportunity of coming up to town to see me as often as possible?

JACK
Can you doubt it, Miss Fairfax?

GWENDOLEN
I have the gravest doubts upon the subject. But I intend to crush them. This is not the moment for German scepticism. [Moving to CECILY.] Their explanations appear to be quite satisfactory, especially Mr. Worthing's. That seems to me to have the stamp of truth upon it.

CECILY
I am more than content with what Mr. Moncrieff said. His voice alone inspires one with absolute credulity.

GWENDOLEN
Then you think we should forgive them?

CECILY
Yes. I mean no.

GWENDOLEN
True! I had forgotten. There are principles at stake that one cannot surrender. Which of us should tell them? The task is not a pleasant one.

CECILY
Could we not both speak at the same time?

GWENDOLEN
An excellent idea! I nearly always speak at