Chapter 3 - Page 2

cordially; and in the little streets I
saw the people open their windows to look after me, for everybody knew
how remarkably well things had fared with me; nay, I fancied I actually
stood upon the pinnacle of fortune, when one of the principal citizens,
who had built a high tower to his house, led me up there, and I looked
out thence over the city, and the surrounding country, and some old
women in the hospital below, who had known me from childhood, pointed
up to me.

As soon, however, as I returned to Slagelse, this halo of glory
vanished, as well as every thought of it. I may freely confess that I
was industrious, and I rose, as soon as it was possible, into a higher
class; but in proportion as I rose did I feel the pressure upon me more
strongly, and that my endeavors were not sufficiently productive. Many
an evening, when sleep overcame me, did I wash my head with cold water,
or run about the lonely little garden, till I was again wakeful, and
could comprehend the book anew. The rector filled up a portion of his
hours of teaching with jests, nicknames, and not the happiest of
witticisms. I was as if paralyzed with anxiety when he entered the
room, and from that cause my replies often expressed the opposite of
that which I wished to say, and thereby my anxiety was all the more
increased. What was to become of me?

In a moment of ill-humor I wrote a letter to the head master, who was
one of those who was most cordially opposed to me. I said in this
letter that I regarded myself as a person so little gifted by nature,
that it was impossible for me to study, and that the people in
Copenhagen threw away the money which they spent upon me: I besought
him therefore to counsel me what I should do. The excellent man
strengthened me with mild words, and wrote to me a most friendly and
consolatory letter; he said that the rector meant kindly by me--that it
was his custom and way of acting--that I was making all the progress
that people could expect from me, and that I need not doubt of my
abilities. He told me that he himself was a peasant youth of three and
twenty, older than I myself was, when he began his studies; the
misfortune for me was, that I ought to have been treated differently to
the other scholars, but that this could hardly be done in a school; but
that things were progressing, and that I stood well both with the
teachers and my fellow students.

Every Sunday we had to attend the church and hear an old preacher; the
other scholars learned their lessons in history and mathematics while
he preached; I learned my task in religion, and thought that, by so
doing, it was less sinful. The general rehearsals at the private
theatre were points of light in my school life; they took place in a