6- The Bang Eater and the Cauzee

The story of the Bang Eater and the Cauzee.

In a certain city there was a vagabond fellow much addicted to
the use of bang, who got his livelihood by fishing. When he had
sold the product of his day's labour, he laid part of it out in
provisions and part in bang, with which (his day's, work over) he
solaced himself till he became intoxicated, and such was his
constant practice. One night, having indulged more than ordinary,
his senses were unusually stupefied; and in this, condition he
had occasion to come down into the square in which was his
lodging. It happened to be the fourteenth night of the moon, when
she shone uncommonly bright, and shed such a lustre upon the
ground, that the bang-eater from the dizziness of his head
mistook the bright undulations of her reflection on the pavement
for water, and fancied he was upon the brink of the river. He
returned to his chamber, and brought down his line, supposing
that he should catch his usual prey.

The bang-eater threw out his line, made of strong cord, and
baited on several hooks with bits of flesh, into the square, when
a dog, allured by the scent, swallowed one of the pieces, and
feeling pain from the hook which stuck in his throat, pulled
strongly at the cord. The bang-eater, supposing he had caught a
monstrous fish, lugged stoutly, but in vain. The dog, agonized by
the hook, resisted; at the same time yelping hideously, when the
bang-eater, unwilling to quit his prey, yet fearing he should be
dragged into the imaginary river, bellowed aloud for help. The
watch came up, seized him, and perceiving him intoxicated,
carried him bound to the cauzee.

It happened that the cauzee often privately indulged himself with
bang. Seeing the intoxicated situation of the fisherman, he
pitied his condition, and ordered him to be put into a chamber to
sleep off his disorder; at the same time saying to himself, "This
is a man after my own heart, and to-morrow evening I will enjoy
myself with him." The fisherman was well taken care of during the
day, and at night the cauzee sent for him to his apartment;
where, after eating, they took each a powerful dose of bang,
which soon operating upon their brains, they began to sing,
dance, and commit a thousand extravagancies.

The noise which they made attracted the notice of the sultan, who
with his vizier was traversing the city, disguised as merchants.
Finding the doors open, they entered, and beheld the cauzee and
his companion in the height of their mirth, who welcomed them,
and they sat down. At length, after many ridiculous tricks, the
fisherman starting up, exclaimed, "I am the sultan!" "And I,"
rejoined the cauzee, "am my lord the bashaw!"