Jock and His Mother

Ye see, there was a wife had a son, and they called him Jock; and she
said to him, "You are a lazy fellow; ye maun gang awa' and do something
for to help me." "Weel," says Jock, "I'll do that." So awa' he gangs,
and fa's in wi' a packman. Says the packman, "If you carry my pack a'
day, I'll gie you a needle at night." So he carried the pack, and got
the needle; and as he was gaun awa' hame to his mither, he cuts a burden
o' brackens, and put the needle into the heart o' them. Awa' he gaes
hame. Says his mither, "What hae ye made o' yoursel' the day?" Says
Jock, "I fell in wi' a packman, and carried his pack a' day, and he gae
me a needle for't, and ye may look for it amang the brackens." "Hout,"
quo' she, "ye daft gowk, you should hae stuck it into your bonnet, man."
"I'll mind that again," quo' Jock.

Next day he fell in wi' a man carrying plough socks. "If ye help me to
carry my socks a' day, I'll gie ye ane to yersel' at night." "I'll do
that," quo' Jock. Jock carried them a' day, and got a sock, which he
stuck in his bonnet. On the way hame, Jock was dry, and gaed away to
take a drink out o' the burn; and wi' the weight o' the sock, his bonnet
fell into the river, and gaed out o' sight. He gaed hame, and his mither
says, "Weel, Jock, what hae you been doing a' day?" And then he tells
her. "Hout," quo' she, "you should hae tied the string to it, and
trailed it behind you." "Weel," quo' Jock, "I'll mind that again."

Awa' he sets, and he fa's in wi' a flesher. "Weel," says the flesher,
"if ye'll be my servant a' day, I'll gie ye a leg o' mutton at night."
"I'll be that," quo' Jock. He got a leg o' mutton at night. He ties a
string to it, and trails it behind him the hale road hame. "What hae ye
been doing?" said his mither. He tells her. "Hout, you fool, ye should
hae carried it on your shouther." "I'll mind that again," quo' Jock.

Awa' he gaes next day, and meets a horse-dealer. He says, "If you will
help me wi' my horses a' day, I'll give you ane to yoursel' at night."
"I'll do that," quo' Jock. So he served him, and got his horse, and he
ties its feet; but as he was not able to carry it on his back, he left it
lying on the roadside. Hame he comes, and tells his mither. "Hout, ye
daft gowk, ye'll ne'er turn wise! Could ye no hae loupen on it, and
ridden it?" "I'll mind that again," quo' Jock.

Aweel, there was a grand gentleman, wha had a daughter wha was very
subject to melancholy; and her father gae out that whaever should mak'
her laugh would get her in