Jock and His Mother - Page 2

marriage. So it happened that she was sitting
at the window ae day, musing in her melancholy state, when Jock,
according to the advice o' his mither, cam' flying up on a cow's back,
wi' the tail over his shouther. And she burst out into a fit o'
laughter. When they made inquiry wha made her laugh, it was found to be
Jock riding on the cow. Accordingly, Jock was sent for to get his bride.
Weel, Jock was married to her, and there was a great supper prepared.
Amongst the rest o' the things, there was some honey, which Jock was very
fond o'. After supper, they all retired, and the auld priest that
married them sat up a' night by the kitchen fireside. So Jock waukens in
the night-time, and says, "Oh, wad ye gie me some o' yon nice sweet honey
that we got to our supper last night?" "Oh ay," says his wife, "rise and
gang into the press, and ye'll get a pig fou o 't." Jock rose, and
thrust his hand into the honey-pig for a nievefu' o 't, and he could not
get it out. So he cam' awa' wi' the pig in his hand, like a mason's
mell, and says, "Oh, I canna get my hand out." "Hoot," quo' she, "gang
awa' and break it on the cheek-stane." By this time, the fire was dark,
and the auld priest was lying snoring wi' his head against the chimney-
piece, wi' a huge white wig on. Jock gaes awa', and gae him a whack wi'
the honey-pig on the head, thinking it was the cheek-stane, and knocks it
a' in bits. The auld priest roars out, "Murder!" Jock tak's doun the
stair as hard as he could bicker, and hides himsel' amang the bees'
skeps.

That night, as luck wad have it, some thieves cam' to steal the bees'
skeps, and in the hurry o' tumbling them into a large grey plaid, they
tumbled Jock in alang wi' them. So aff they set, wi' Jock and the skeps
on their backs. On the way, they had to cross the burn where Jock lost
his bonnet. Ane o' the thieves cries, "Oh, I hae fand a bonnet!" and
Jock, on hearing that, cries out, "Oh, that's mine!" They thocht they
had got the deil on their backs. So they let a' fa' in the burn; and
Jock, being tied in the plaid, couldna get out; so he and the bees were
a' drowned thegither.

If a' tales be true, that's nae lee.