The Birds (cont'd)

CHORUS
Why, do they think to see some advantage that determines them to settle here? Are they hoping with our help to triumph over their foes or to be useful to their friends?

EPOPS
They speak of benefits so great it is impossible either to describe or conceive them; all shall be yours, all that we see here, there, above and below us; this they vouch for.

CHORUS
Are they mad?

EPOPS
They are the sanest people in the world.

CHORUS
Clever men?

EPOPS
The slyest of foxes, cleverness its very self, men of the world, cunning, the cream of knowing folk.

CHORUS
Tell them to speak and speak quickly; why, as I listen to you, I am beside myself with delight.

EPOPS
Here, you there, take all these weapons and hang them up inside close to the fire, near the figure of the god who presides there and under his protection;[1] as for you, address the birds, tell them why I have gathered them together.

[1] Epops is addressing the two slaves, no doubt Xanthias and Manes, who are mentioned later on.

PISTHETAERUS
Not I, by Apollo, unless they agree with me as the little ape of an armourer agreed with his wife, not to bite me, nor pull me by the parts, nor shove things up my...

CHORUS
You mean the...(PUTS FINGER TO BOTTOM) Oh! be quite at ease.

PISTHETAERUS
No, I mean my eyes.

CHORUS
Agreed.

PISTHETAERUS
Swear it.

CHORUS
I swear it and, if I keep my promise, let judges and spectators give me the victory unanimously.

PISTHETAERUS
It is a bargain.

CHORUS
And if I break my word, may I succeed by one vote only.

HERALD
Hearken, ye people! Hoplites, pick up your weapons and return to your firesides; do not fail to read the decrees of dismissal we have posted.

CHORUS
Man is a truly cunning creature, but nevertheless explain. Perhaps you are going to show me some good way to extend my power, some way that I have not had the wit to find out and which you have discovered. Speak! 'tis to your own interest as well as to mine, for if you secure me some advantage, I will surely share it with you. But what object can have induced you to come among us? Speak boldly, for I shall not break the truce, --until you have told us all.

PISTHETAERUS
I am bursting with desire to speak; I have already mixed the dough of my address and nothing prevents me from kneading it.... Slave! bring the chaplet and water, which you must pour over my hands. Be quick![1]

[1] It was customary, when speaking in public and also at feasts, to wear a chaplet; hence the question Euelpides puts. --The guests wore chaplets of flowers, herbs, and leaves, which had the property of being refreshing.

EUELPIDES
Is it a question of feasting? What does it all mean?

PISTHETAERUS
By Zeus, no! but I am hunting