Chapter 5

"When you get through with the fire, Mr. Pedagog," observed the Idiot,
one winter's morning, noticing that the ample proportions of the
School-master served as a screen to shut off the heat from himself and
the genial gentleman who occasionally imbibed, "I wish you would let us
have a little of it. Indeed, if you could conveniently spare so little
as one flame for my friend here and myself, we'd be much obliged."

"It won't hurt you to cool off a little, sir," returned the
School-master, without moving.

"No, I am not so much afraid of the injury that may be mine as I am
concerned for you. If that fire should melt our only refrigerating
material, I do not know what our good landlady would do. Is it true, as
the Bibliomaniac asserts, that Mrs. Smithers leaves all her milk and
butter in your room overnight, relying upon your coolness to keep them
fresh?"

"I never made any such assertion," said the Bibliomaniac, warmly.

"I am not used to having my word disputed," returned the Idiot, with a
wink at the genial old gentleman.

"But I never said it, and I defy you to prove that I said it," returned
the Bibliomaniac, hotly.

"You forget, sir," said the Idiot, coolly, "that you are the one who
disputes my assertion. That casts the burden of proof on your shoulders.
Of course if you can prove that you never said anything of the sort, I
withdraw; but if you cannot adduce proofs, you, having doubted my word,
and publicly at that, need not feel hurt if I decline to accept all that
you say as gospel."

"You show ridiculous heat," said the School-master.

"Thank you," returned the Idiot, gracefully. "And that brings us back to
the original proposition that you would do well to show a little
yourself."

"Good-morning, gentlemen," said Mrs. Smithers, entering the room at
this moment. "It's a bright, fresh morning."

"Like yourself," said the School-master, gallantly.

"Yes," added the Idiot, with a glance at the clock, which registered
8.45--forty-five minutes after the breakfast hour--"very like Mrs.
Smithers--rather advanced."

To this the landlady paid no attention; but the School-master could not
refrain from saying,

"Advanced, and therefore not backward, like some persons I might name."

"Very clever," retorted the Idiot, "and really worth rewarding. Mrs.
Smithers, you ought to give Mr. Pedagog a receipt in full for the past
six months."

"Mr. Pedagog," returned the landlady, severely, "is one of the gentlemen
who always have their