Chapter 10 - Page 2

cider and cod-liver oil as
beverages, with you, the chances are, the advocate of cod-liver oil as
a steady drink."

"Well, I must say," said the Idiot, with a smile, "it has been my
experience that cod-liver oil is steadier than cider. The cod-liver
oils I have had the pleasure of absorbing have been evenly vile, while
the ciders that I have drank have been of a variety of goodness, badness,
and indifferentness which has brought me to the point where I never touch
it. But to return to inventions, since you desire to limit our discussion
to a single subject, I think it is about the most interesting field of
speculation imaginable."

"There you are right," said Mr. Pedagog, approvingly. "There is
absolutely no limit to the possibilities involved. It is almost within
the range of possibilities that some man may yet invent a buckwheat cake
that will satisfy your abnormal craving for that delicacy, which the
present total output of this table seems unable to do."

Here Mr. Pedagog turned to his wife, and added: "My dear, will you
request the cook hereafter to prepare individual cakes for us? The Idiot
has so far monopolized all that have as yet appeared."

"It appears to me," said the Idiot at this point, "that _you_ are the
ramifier, Mr. Pedagog. Nevertheless, ramify as much as you please. I can
follow you--at a safe distance, of course--in the discussion of anything,
from Edison to flapjacks. I think your suggestion regarding individual
cakes is a good one. We might all have separate griddles, upon which
Gladys, the cook, can prepare them, and on these griddles might be cast
in bold relief the crest of each member of this household, so that every
man's cake should, by an easy process in the making, come off the fire
indelibly engraved with the evidence of its destiny. Mr. Pedagog's iron,
for instance, might have upon it a school-book rampant, or a large head
in the same condition. Mr. Whitechoker's cake-mark might be a pulpit
rampant, based upon a vestryman dormant. The Doctor might have a lozengy
shield with a suitable tincture, while my genial friend who occasionally
imbibes could have a barry shield surmounted by a small effigy of
Gambrinus."

"You appear to know something of heraldry," said the poet, with a look of
surprise.

"I know something of everything," said the Idiot, complacently.

"It's a pity you don't know everything about something," sneered the
Doctor.

"I would suggest," said the School-Master, dryly, "that a little rampant
jackass would make a good crest for your cakes."

"That's a very good idea," said the Idiot.