Chapter 10

LIFE TIED IN A KNOT

One morning soon after the New Year, Hyde was returning to the Manor
House from New York. It was a day to oppress thought, and tighten the
heart, and kill all hope and energy. There was a monotonous rain and a
sky like that of a past age--solemn and leaden--and the mud of the roads
was unspeakable. He was compelled to ride slowly and to feel in its full
force, as it were, the hostility of Nature. As he reached his home the
rain ceased, and a thick mist, with noiseless entrance, pervaded all the
environment; but no life, or sound of life, broke the melancholy sense
of his utter desolation.

He took the road by the lake because it was the nearest road to the
stables, where he wished to alight; but the sight of the livid water,
and of the herons standing motionless under the huge cedars by its
frozen edges, brought to speech and expression that stifled grief, which
Nature this morning had intensified, not relieved.

"Those unearthly birds!" he said petulantly, "they look as if they had
escaped the deluge by some mistake. Oh if I could forget! If I could
only forget! And now she has gone! She has gone! I shall never see her
again! "Grief feels it a kind of luxury to repeat some supreme cry of
misery, and this lamentation for his lost love had this poignant
satisfaction. He felt New York to be empty and void and dreary, and the
Manor House with its physical cheer and comfort, and its store of
affection, could not lift the stone from his heart.

In spite of the chilling mist the Earl had gone to see a neighbour about
some land and local affairs, and his mother--oblivious of the coronet of
a countess--was helping her housekeeper to make out the list of all
household property at the beginning of the year 1792. She seemed a
little annoyed at his intrusion, and recommended to him a change of
apparel. Then he smiled at his forlorn, draggled condition, and went to
his room.

Now it is a fact that in extreme dejection something good to eat, and
something nice to wear, will often restore the inner man to his normal
complacency; and when Hyde's valet had seen to his master's refreshment
in every possible way, Hyde was at least reconciled to the idea of
living a little longer. The mud-stained garments had disappeared, and as
he walked up and down the luxurious room, brightened by the blazing oak
logs, he caught reflections of his handsome person in the mirror, and he
began to be comforted. For it is not in normal youth to disdain the
smaller joys of life; and Hyde was thinking as his servant dressed him
in satin and velvet, that at least there was Annie. Annie was always
glad to see him, and he had a great respect for Annie's opinions. Indeed
during the past