Chapter 12

In Which is Sold a Portrait

There are sure more forces in this Universe than Man has so far
discovered, and so, not dreaming of them, can neither protect himself
against, nor aid them in their workings if he would. Who has not
sometimes fancied he saw their mysterious movings and--if of daring
mind--been tempted to believe that in some future, even on this earth,
the science of their laws might be sought for and explained? Who has
not seen the time when his own life, or that of some other, seemed to
flow, as a current flows, either towards or away from some end, planned
or unplanned by his own mind. At one time he may plan and struggle,
and, in spite of all his efforts, the current sweeps him away from the
object he strives to attain--as though he were a mere feather floating
upon its stream; at another, the tide bears him onward as a boat is
borne by the rapids, towards a thing he had not dreamed of, nor even
vaguely wished to reach. At such hours, resistance seems useless. We
seize an oar, it breaks in the flood; we snatch at an overhanging
bough, it snaps or slips our grasp; we utter cries for help, those on
the bank pass by not hearing, or cast to us a rope the current bears
out of reach. Then we cry "Fate!" and either wring our hands, or curse,
or sit and gaze straight before us, while we are swept on--either over
the cataract's edge and dashed to fragments, or out to the trackless
ocean, to be tossed by wind and wave till some bark sees and saves
us--or we sink.

From the time of his mother's speech with him after her return from
Gloucestershire, thoughts such as these passed often through Roxholm's
mind. "It might have been; it might have been," she had said, and the
curious leap of blood and pulse he had felt had vaguely shocked him. It
scarcely seemed becoming that so young a creature as this lovely hoyden
should so move a man. 'Twas the fashion that girl beauties should be
women early, and at Court he had seen young things, wives and mothers
when they were scarce older; but this one seemed more than half a boy
and--and--! Yet he knew that he had been in earnest when he had said,
"I would keep away."

"I _know_," he had said to himself when he had been alone later; "I
_know_ that if the creature were a woman, 'twould be best that I should
keep away--'twould be best for any man to keep away from her, who was
not free to bear any suffering his passion for her might bring him. The
man who will be chief of a great house--whose actions affect the lives
of hundreds--is not free, even to let himself be put to the
torture"--and he smiled unconsciously the smile which was a little
grim.

He had seen and studied many women, and in studying