Chapter 1 - Page 2

becomes Mrs. _John_ Jones, but not Mrs. Jane
Jones. It is on this idea we suppose that our ancestors the
English--every Englishman, as a matter of course, being every American's
ancestor--thus it is, we suppose, therefore, that our ancestors, who pay
so much more attention to such matters than we do ourselves, in their
table of courtesy, call the wife of Lord John Russell, Lady _John_, and
not Lady--whatever her Christian name may happen to be. We suppose,
moreover, it is on this principle that Mrs. General This, Mrs. Dr. That,
and Mrs. Senator T'other, are as inaccurate as they are notoriously
vulgar.

[Footnote 1: Some few of our readers may require to be told that,
in Spanish, y, pronounced as e, is the simple conjunction "and;"
thus this name is de Castro _and_ Muños.]

Mark Woolston came from a part of this great republic where the names
are still as simple, unpretending, and as good Saxon English, as in the
county of Kent itself. He was born in the little town of Bristol, Bucks
county, Pennsylvania. This is a portion of the country that, Heaven be
praised! still retains some of the good old-fashioned directness and
simplicity. Bucks is full of Jacks, and Bens, and Dicks, and we question
if there is such a creature, of native growth, in all that region, as an
Ithusy, or a Seneky, or a Dianthy, or an Antonizetty, or a Deidamy.[2]
The Woolstons, in particular, were a plain family, and very unpretending
in their external appearance, but of solid and highly respectable habits
around the domestic hearth. Knowing perfectly how to spell, they never
dreamed anyone would suspect them of ignorance. They called themselves
as their forefathers were called, that is to say, Wooster, or just as
Worcester is pronounced; though a Yankee schoolmaster tried for a whole
summer to persuade our hero, when a child, that he ought to be styled
Wool-ston. This had no effect on Mark, who went on talking of his uncles
and aunts, "Josy Wooster," and "Tommy Wooster," and "Peggy Wooster,"
precisely as if a New England academy did not exist on earth; or as if
Webster had not actually put Johnson under his feet!

[Footnote 2: Absurd and forced as these strange appellations may
appear, they are all genuine. The writer has collected a long list
of such names from real life, which he may one day
publish--Orchistra, Philena, and Almina are among them. To all the
names ending in a, it must be remembered that the sound of a final
y is given.]

The father of Mark Woolston (or Wooster) was a physician, and, for the
country and age, was a well-educated and skilful man. Mark was born in
1777, just seventy years since, and only ten days before the surrender
of Burgoyne. A good deal of