Chapter 18

A COURT, A COURT-DRESS, AND A COURTIER--JUSTICE IN VARIOUS ASPECTS,
AS WELL AS HONOR.

My guests were no sooner gone, than I sent for the landlady, to
inquire if any court-dresses were to be had in the neighborhood. She
told me plenty might certainly be had, that were suited to the
monikin dimensions, but she much doubted whether there was a tail in
all Leaphigh, natural or artificial, that was at all fit for a
person of my stature. This was vexatious; and I was in a brown
study, calling up all my resources for the occasion, when Mr. Poke
entered the inn, carrying in his hand two as formidable ox-tails as
I remember ever to have seen. Throwing one towards me, he said the
lord high admiral of Leaphigh had acquainted him that there was an
invitation out for the prince and himself, as well as for the
governor of the former, to be present at court within an hour. He
had hurried off from what he called a very good dinner, considering
there was nothing solid (the captain was particularly fond of
pickled pork), to let me know the honor that was intended us; and on
the way home, he had fallen in with Dr. Reasono, who, on being
acquainted with his errand, had not failed to point out the
necessity of the whole party coming en habit de cour. Here was a
dilemma, with a vengeance; for the first idea that struck the
captain was, "the utter impossibility of finding anything in this
way, in all Leaphigh, befitting a lord high admiral of his length of
keel; for, as to going in an ordinary monikin queue, why, he should
look like a three-decked ship, with a brig's spar stepped for a
lower mast!" Dr. Reasono, however, had kindly removed the
embarrassment, by conducting him to the cabinet of natural history,
where three suitable appendages had been found, viz., two fine
relics of oxen, [Footnote: Cauda Bovum.--BUF.] and another, a
capital specimen, that had formerly been the mental lever, or, as
the captain expressed it, "the steering oar" of a kangaroo. The
latter had been sent off, express, with a kind consideration for the
honor of Great Britain, to Prince Bob, who was at a villa of one of
the royal family, in the neighborhood of Aggregation.

I was greatly indebted to Noah, for his dexterity in helping me to a
good fit with my court-dress. There was not time for much
particularity, for we were in momentary expectation of Judge
People's Friend's return. All we could do, therefore, was to make a
belt of canvas (the captain being always provided with needles,
palm, etc., in his bag), and to introduce the smaller end of the
tail through a hole in the belt, drawing its base tight up to the
cloth, which, in its turn, was stitched round our bodies. This was
but an indifferent substitute for the