Chapter 18 - Page 2

natural appendage, it is true;
and the hide had got to be so dry and unyielding, that it was
impossible for the least observant person to imagine there was a
particle of brains in it. The arrangement had also another
disadvantage. The cauda stuck out nearly at right angles with the
position of the body, and besides occupying much more space than
would probably be permitted in the royal presence, "it gave any
jackanapes," as Noah observed, "the great advantage over us, of
making us yaw at pleasure, since he might use the outriggers as
levers." But a seaman is inexhaustible in expedients. Two "back-
stays," or "bob-stays" (for the captain facetiously gave them both
appellations) were soon "turned in," and the tails were "stayed in,
in a way to bring them as upright as trysail masts"; to which spars,
indeed, according to Noah's account of the matter, they bore no
small resemblance.

The envoy-extraordinary of Leaplow, accompanied by his friend,
Brigadier Downright, arrived just as we were dressed; and a most
extraordinary figure the former cut, if truth must be said. Although
obliged to be docked, according to the Leaplow law, to six inches,
and brought down to a real bob, by both the public opinions of his
country, for this was one of the few points on which these
antagonist sentiments were perfectly agreed, he now appeared in just
the largest brush I remember to have seen appended to a monikin! I
felt a strong inclination to joke the rotatory republican on this
coquetry; but then I remembered how sweet any stolen indulgence
becomes; and, for the life of me, I could not give utterance to a
bon-mot. The elegance of the minister was rendered the more
conspicuous by the simplicity of the brigadier, who had contrived to
moustache his dock, a very short one at the best, in such a manner
as to render it nearly invisible. On my expressing a doubt to Mr.
Downright about his being admitted in such a costume, he snapped his
fingers, and gave me to understand he knew better. He appeared as a
brigadier of Leaplow (I found afterwards that he was in truth no
soldier, but that it was a fashion among his countrymen to travel
under the title of brigadier), and this was his uniform; and he
should like to see the chamberlain who would presume to call in
question the state of his wardrobe! As it was no affair of mine, I
prudently dropped the subject, and we were soon in the court of the
palace.

I shall pass over the parade of guards, the state bands, the
sergeant-trumpeters, the crowd of footmen and pages, and conduct the
reader at once to the ante-chamber. Here we found the usual throng
composed of those who live in the smiles of princes. There was a