Chapter 19 - Page 2

everything in the shape of clothes, I did not well see under what
new mantle of simplicity the heads of the church could take refuge!
Perhaps they shaved off all the hair from their bodies in sign of
supereminent self-abasement, leaving themselves naked to the
cuticle, that they might prove, by ocular evidence, what a poor
ungainly set of wretches they really were, carnally considered; or
perhaps they went on all-fours to heaven, in sign of their unfitness
to enter into the presence of the pure of mind in an attitude more
erect and confident. Well, these fancies of mine only went to prove
how erroneous and false are the conclusions of one whose capacity
has not been amplified and concatenated by the ingenuities of a very
refined civilization. His grace the most gracious father in God,
wore a mantle of extraordinary fineness and beauty, the material of
which was composed of every tenth hair taken from all the citizens
of Leaphigh, who most cheerfully submitted to be shaved, in order
that the wants of his most eminent humility might be decently
supplied. The mantle, wove from such a warp and such a woof, was

necessarily very large; and it really appeared to me that the
prelate did not very well know what to do with so much of it, more
especially as the contributions include a new robe annually. I was
now desirous of getting a sight of his tail; for, knowing that the
Leaphighers take great pride in the length and beauty of that
appurtenance, I very naturally supposed that a saint who wore so
fine and glorious a robe, by way of humility, must have recourse to
some novel expedient to mortify himself on his sensitive subject, at
least. I found that the ample proportions of the mantle concealed
not only the person, but most of the movements of the archbishop;
and it was with many doubts of my success that I led the brigadier
behind the episcopal train to reconnoitre. The result disappointed
expectation again. Instead of being destitute of a tail, or of
concealing that with which nature had supplied him beneath his
mantle, the most gracious dignitary wore no less than six caudae,
viz., his own, and five others added to it, by some subtle process
of clerical ingenuity that I shall not attempt to explain; one "bent
on the other," as the captain described them in a subsequent
conversation. This extraordinary train was allowed to sweep the
floor; the only sign of humility, according to my uninstructed
faculties, I could discern about the person and appearance of this
illustrious model of clerical self-mortification and humility.

The brigadier, however, was not tardy in setting me right. In the
first place, he gave me to understand that the hierarchy of Leaphigh
was illustrated by the order of their