Chapter 22

A NEOPHYTE IN DIPLOMACY--DIPLOMATIC INTRODUCTION--A CALCULATION--A
SHIPMENT OF OPINIONS--HOW TO CHOOSE AN INVOICE, WITH AN ASSORTMENT.

I now began seriously to think of sailing for Leaplow; for, I
confess, I was heartily tired of being thought the governor of His
Royal Highness Prince Bob, and pined to be restored once more to my
proper place in society. I was the more incited to make the change
by the representations of the brigadier, who assured me that it was
sufficient to come from foreign parts to be esteemed a nobleman in
Leaplow, and that I need not apprehend in his country any of the
ill-treatment I had received in the one in which I now was. After
talking over the matter, therefore, in a familiar way, we determined
to repair at once to the Leaplow legation, in order to ask for our
passports, and to offer, at the same time, to carry any dispatches
that Judge People's Friend might have prepared for his government--
it being the custom of the Leaplowers to trust to these godsends in
carrying on their diplomatic correspondence.

We found the judge in undress, and a very different figure he cut,
certainly, from that which he made when I saw him the previous night
at court. Then he was all queue; now he was all bob. He seemed glad
to see us, however, and quite delighted when I told him of the
intention to sail for Leaplow, as soon as the wind served. He
instantly asked a passage for himself, with republican simplicity.

There was to be another turn of the great and little wheels, he
said, and it was quite important to himself to be on the spot; for,
although everything was, beyond all question, managed with perfect
republican propriety, yet, somehow (and yet he did not know exactly
how, but SOMEHOW), those who are on the spot always get the best
prizes. If I could give him a passage, therefore, he would esteem it
a great personal favor; and I might depend on it, the circumstance
would be well received by the party. Although I did not very well
understand what he meant by this party, which was to view the act so
kindly, I very cheerfully told the judge that the apartments lately
occupied by my lord Chatterino and his friends were perfectly at his
disposal. I was then asked when I intended to sail; and the answer
was, the instant the wind hauled, so we could lay out of the harbor.
It might be within half an hour. Hereupon Judge People's Friend
begged I would have the goodness to wait until he could hunt up a
charge d'affaires. His instructions were most peremptory never to
leave the legation without a charge d'affaires; but he would just
brush his bob, and run into the street, and look up one in five
minutes, if I would promise to wait so long. It would have been
unkind to refuse so