Chapter 24 - Page 2

the sun gave
light by night. Of course, I immediately set about, in my own mind,
hunting up the proper arguments by which this grave political
hypothesis was to be properly maintained. The next placard was in
favor

"NOAH POKE,"

"the experienced navigator, who will conduct the ship of state into
the haven of prosperity--the practical astronomer who knows by
frequent observations, that lunars are not to be got in the dark."

"Perpendiculars, be plumb, and lay your enemies on their backs!"

After this I fell in with--

"THE HONORABLE ROBERT SMUT,"

"is confidently recommended to all their fellow-citizens by the
nominating committee of the Anti-Approved-Sublimated-Politico-
Tangents, as the real gentleman, a ripe scholar, [Footnote: I
afterwards found this was a common phrase in Leaplow, being
uniformly applied to every monikin who wore spectacles.] an
enlightened politician, and a sound Democrat."

"But I should fill the manuscript with nothing else, were I to record
a tithe of the commendations and abuse that were heaped on us all,
by a community to whom, as yet, we were absolutely strangers. A
single sample of the latter will suffice."

"AFFIDAVIT."

"Personally appeared before me, John Equity, justice of the peace,
Peter Veracious, etc., etc., who, being duly sworn upon the Holy
Evangelists, doth depose and say, viz.: That he was intimately
acquainted with one John Goldencalf in his native country, and that
he is personally knowing to the fact that he, the said John
Goldencalf, has three wives, seven illegitimate children, is
moreover a bankrupt without character, and that he was obliged to
emigrate in consequence of having stolen a sheep."

"Sworn, etc."

"(Signed,) PETER VERACIOUS."

I naturally felt a little indignant at this impudent statement, and
was about to call upon the first passer-by for the address of Mr.
Veracious, when the skirts of my skin were seized by one of the
Horizontal nominating committee, and I was covered with
congratulations on my being happily elected. Success is an admirable
plaster for all wounds, and I really forgot to have the affair of
the sheep and of the illegitimate children inquired into; although I
still protest, that had fortune been less propitious, the rascal who
promulgated this calumny would have been made to smart for his
temerity. In less than five minutes it was the turn of Captain Poke.
He, too, was congratulated in due form; for, as it appeared, the
"immigrant interest," as Noah termed it, had actually carried a
candidate on each of the two great opposing tickets. Thus far, all