Part IV

ROMANCE FROM THE PEN OF MISS NETTIE ASHFORD (Aged half-past six.)

THERE is a country, which I will show you when I get into maps,
where the children have everything their own way. It is a most
delightful country to live in. The grown-up people are obliged to
obey the children, and are never allowed to sit up to supper,
except on their birthdays. The children order them to make jam and
jelly and marmalade, and tarts and pies and puddings, and all
manner of pastry. If they say they won't, they are put in the
corner till they do. They are sometimes allowed to have some; but
when they have some, they generally have powders given them
afterwards.

One of the inhabitants of this country, a truly sweet young
creature of the name of Mrs. Orange, had the misfortune to be sadly
plagued by her numerous family. Her parents required a great deal
of looking after, and they had connections and companions who were
scarcely ever out of mischief. So Mrs. Orange said to herself, 'I
really cannot be troubled with these torments any longer: I must
put them all to school.'

Mrs. Orange took off her pinafore, and dressed herself very nicely,
and took up her baby, and went out to call upon another lady of the
name of Mrs. Lemon, who kept a preparatory establishment. Mrs.
Orange stood upon the scraper to pull at the bell, and give a ring-
ting-ting.

Mrs. Lemon's neat little housemaid, pulling up her socks as she
came along the passage, answered the ring-ting-ting.

'Good-morning,' said Mrs. Orange. 'Fine day. How do you do? Mrs.
Lemon at home!'

'Yes, ma'am.'

'Will you say Mrs. Orange and baby?'

'Yes, ma'am. Walk in.'

Mrs. Orange's baby was a very fine one, and real wax all over.
Mrs. Lemon's baby was leather and bran. However, when Mrs. Lemon
came into the drawing-room with her baby in her arms, Mrs. Orange
said politely, 'Good-morning. Fine day. How do you do? And how
is little Tootleumboots?'

'Well, she is but poorly. Cutting her teeth, ma'am,' said Mrs.
Lemon.

'O, indeed, ma'am!' said Mrs. Orange. 'No fits, I hope?'

'No, ma'am.'

'How many teeth has she, ma'am?'

'Five, ma'am.'

'My Emilia, ma'am, has eight,' said Mrs. Orange. 'Shall we lay
them on the mantelpiece side by side, while we converse?'

'By all means, ma'am,' said Mrs. Lemon. 'Hem!'

'The first question is, ma'am,' said Mrs. Orange, 'I don't bore
you?'

'Not in the least, ma'am,' said Mrs. Lemon. 'Far from it, I assure
you.'

'Then pray HAVE you,' said Mrs. Orange, - 'HAVE you any vacancies?'

'Yes, ma'am. How many might you require?'

'Why, the truth is, ma'am,' said Mrs. Orange, 'I have come to the
conclusion