Part IV - Page 2

that my children,' - O, I forgot to say that they call
the grown-up people children in that country! - 'that my children
are getting positively too much for me. Let me see. Two parents,
two intimate friends of theirs, one godfather, two godmothers, and
an aunt. HAVE you as many as eight vacancies?'

'I have just eight, ma'am,' said Mrs. Lemon.

'Most fortunate! Terms moderate, I think?'

'Very moderate, ma'am.'

'Diet good, I believe?'

'Excellent, ma'am.'

'Unlimited?'

'Unlimited.'

'Most satisfactory! Corporal punishment dispensed with?'

'Why, we do occasionally shake,' said Mrs. Lemon, 'and we have
slapped. But only in extreme cases.'

'COULD I, ma'am,' said Mrs. Orange, - 'COULD I see the
establishment?'

'With the greatest of pleasure, ma'am,' said Mrs. Lemon.

Mrs. Lemon took Mrs. Orange into the schoolroom, where there were a
number of pupils. 'Stand up, children,' said Mrs. Lemon; and they
all stood up.

Mrs. Orange whispered to Mrs. Lemon, 'There is a pale, bald child,
with red whiskers, in disgrace. Might I ask what he has done?'

'Come here, White,' said Mrs. Lemon, 'and tell this lady what you
have been doing.'

'Betting on horses,' said White sulkily.

'Are you sorry for it, you naughty child?' said Mrs. Lemon.

'No,' said White. 'Sorry to lose, but shouldn't be sorry to win.'

'There's a vicious boy for you, ma'am,' said Mrs. Lemon. 'Go along
with you, sir. This is Brown, Mrs. Orange. O, a sad case,
Brown's! Never knows when he has had enough. Greedy. How is your
gout, sir?'

'Bad,' said Brown.

'What else can you expect?' said Mrs. Lemon. 'Your stomach is the
size of two. Go and take exercise directly. Mrs. Black, come here
to me. Now, here is a child, Mrs. Orange, ma'am, who is always at
play. She can't be kept at home a single day together; always
gadding about and spoiling her clothes. Play, play, play, play,
from morning to night, and to morning again. How can she expect to
improve?'

'Don't expect to improve,' sulked Mrs. Black. 'Don't want to.'

'There is a specimen of her temper, ma'am,' said Mrs. Lemon. 'To
see her when she is tearing about, neglecting everything else, you
would suppose her to be at least good-humoured. But bless you!
ma'am, she is as pert and flouncing a minx as ever you met with in
all your days!'

'You must have a great deal of trouble with them, ma'am,' said Mrs.
Orange.

'Ah, I have, indeed, ma'am!' said Mrs. Lemon. 'What with their
tempers, what with their quarrels, what with their never knowing
what's good for them, and what with their always wanting to
domineer, deliver me from these unreasonable