So Young! - Page 2

helped by the fact that his 'Comparative
Estimate' did not greatly affect the currents of European thought, and
left him with the stimulating hope that he had not done his best, but
might yet produce what would make his youth more surprising than ever.

I saw something of him through his Antinoüs period, the time of rich
chesnut locks, parted not by a visible white line, but by a shadowed
furrow from which they fell in massive ripples to right and left. In
these slim days he looked the younger for being rather below the middle
size, and though at last one perceived him contracting an indefinable
air of self-consciousness, a slight exaggeration of the facial
movements, the attitudes, the little tricks, and the romance in
shirt-collars, which must be expected from one who, in spite of his
knowledge, was so exceedingly young, it was impossible to say that he
was making any great mistake about himself. He was only undergoing one
form of a common moral disease: being strongly mirrored for himself in
the remark of others, he was getting to see his real characteristics as
a dramatic part, a type to which his doings were always in
correspondence. Owing to my absence on travel and to other causes I had
lost sight of him for several years, but such a separation between two
who have not missed each other seems in this busy century only a
pleasant reason, when they happen to meet again in some old accustomed
haunt, for the one who has stayed at home to be more communicative about
himself than he can well be to those who have all along been in his
neighbourhood. He had married in the interval, and as if to keep up his
surprising youthfulness in all relations, he had taken a wife
considerably older than himself. It would probably have seemed to him a
disturbing inversion of the natural order that any one very near to him
should have been younger than he, except his own children who, however
young, would not necessarily hinder the normal surprise at the
youthfulness of their father. And if my glance had revealed my
impression on first seeing him again, he might have received a rather
disagreeable shock, which was far from my intention. My mind, having
retained a very exact image of his former appearance, took note of
unmistakeable changes such as a painter would certainly not have made by
way of flattering his subject. He had lost his slimness, and that curved
solidity which might have adorned a taller man was a rather sarcastic
threat to his short figure. The English branch of the Teutonic race does
not produce many fat youths, and I have even heard an American lady say
that she was much "disappointed" at the moderate number and size of our
fat men, considering their reputation in the United States;