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    Diseases of Small Authorship

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    Particular callings, it is known, encourage particular diseases. There
    is a painter's colic: the Sheffield grinder falls a victim to the
    inhalation of steel dust: clergymen so often have a certain kind of sore
    throat that this otherwise secular ailment gets named after them. And
    perhaps, if we were to inquire, we should find a similar relation
    between certain moral ailments and these various occupations, though
    here in the case of clergymen there would be specific differences: the
    poor curate, equally with the rector, is liable to clergyman's sore
    throat, but he would probably be found free from the chronic moral
    ailments encouraged by the possession of glebe and those higher chances
    of preferment which follow on having a good position already. On the
    other hand, the poor curate might have severe attacks of calculating
    expectancy concerning parishioners' turkeys, cheeses, and fat geese, or
    of uneasy rivalry for the donations of clerical charities.

    Authors are so miscellaneous a class that
    their personified diseases, physical and moral,
    might include the whole procession of human
    disorders, led by dyspepsia and ending in
    madness--the awful Dumb Show of a world-historic
    tragedy. Take a large enough area
    of human life and all comedy melts into
    tragedy, like the Fool's part by the side of
    Lear. The chief scenes get filled with erring
    heroes, guileful usurpers, persecuted discoverers,
    dying deliverers: everywhere the
    protagonist has a part pregnant with doom.
    The comedy sinks to an accessory, and if there
    are loud laughs they seem a convulsive transition
    from sobs; or if the comedy is touched
    with a gentle lovingness, the panoramic scene
    is one where



    "Sadness is a kind of mirth
    So mingled as if mirth did make us sad
    And sadness merry." [1]

    [Footnote 1: Two Noble Kinsmen.]

    But I did not set out on the wide survey that would carry me into
    tragedy, and in fact had nothing more serious in my mind than certain
    small chronic ailments that come of small authorship. I was thinking

    principally of Vorticella, who flourished in my youth not only as a
    portly lady walking in silk attire, but also as the authoress of a book
    entitled 'The Channel Islands, with Notes and an Appendix.' I would by
    no means make it a reproach to her that she wrote no more than one book;
    on the contrary, her stopping there seems to me a laudable example. What
    one would have wished, after experience, was that she had refrained from
    producing even that single volume, and thus from giving her
    self-importance a troublesome kind of double incorporation which became
    oppressive to her acquaintances, and set up in herself one of those
    slight chronic forms of disease to which I
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