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    Chapter 20

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    Chapter 21
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    CHAPTER 20

    Moving in Society

    If Young John Chivery had had the inclination and the power to
    write a satire on family pride, he would have had no need to go for
    an avenging illustration out of the family of his beloved. He
    would have found it amply in that gallant brother and that dainty
    sister, so steeped in mean experiences, and so loftily conscious of
    the family name; so ready to beg or borrow from the poorest, to eat
    of anybody's bread, spend anybody's money, drink from anybody's cup
    and break it afterwards. To have painted the sordid facts of their
    lives, and they throughout invoking the death's head apparition of
    the family gentility to come and scare their benefactors, would
    have made Young John a satirist of the first water.

    Tip had turned his liberty to hopeful account by becoming a
    billiard-marker. He had troubled himself so little as to the means
    of his release, that Clennam scarcely needed to have been at the
    pains of impressing the mind of Mr Plornish on that subject.
    Whoever had paid him the compliment, he very readily accepted the
    compliment with HIS compliments, and there was an end of it.
    Issuing forth from the gate on these easy terms, he became a
    billiard-marker; and now occasionally looked in at the little
    skittle-ground in a green Newmarket coat (second-hand), with a
    shining collar and bright buttons (new), and drank the beer of the
    Collegians.

    One solid stationary point in the looseness of this gentleman's
    character was, that he respected and admired his sister Amy. The
    feeling had never induced him to spare her a moment's uneasiness,
    or to put himself to any restraint or inconvenience on her account;
    but with that Marshalsea taint upon his love, he loved her. The
    same rank Marshalsea flavour was to be recognised in his distinctly
    perceiving that she sacrificed her life to her father, and in his
    having no idea that she had done anything for himself.

    When this spirited young man and his sister had begun
    systematically to produce the family skeleton for the overawing of
    the College, this narrative cannot precisely state. Probably at
    about the period when they began to dine on the College charity.
    It is certain that the more reduced and necessitous they were, the
    more pompously the skeleton emerged from its tomb; and that when
    there was anything particularly shabby in the wind, the skeleton
    always came out with the ghastliest flourish.

    Little Dorrit was late on the Monday morning, for her father slept
    late, and afterwards there was his breakfast to prepare and his
    room to arrange. She had no engagement to go out to work, however,
    and therefore stayed with him until, with Maggy's help, she had put
    everything right about him, and had seen him off upon his morning
    walk (of twenty yards or so) to the coffee-house to read the paper.

    She then got on her bonnet and went out, having been anxious to get
    out much sooner. There was, as usual, a cessation of the small-
    talk in the Lodge as she passed through it; and a Collegian who had
    come in on Saturday night, received the intimation from the elbow
    of a more seasoned Collegian, 'Look out. Here she is!'
    She wanted to see her sister, but when she got round to Mr
    Cripples's, she found that both her sister and her uncle had gone
    to the theatre where they were engaged. Having taken thought of
    this probability by the way, and having settled that in such case
    she would follow them, she set off afresh for the theatre, which
    was on that side of the river, and not very far away.

    Little Dorrit was almost as ignorant of the ways of theatres as of
    the ways of gold mines, and when she was directed to a furtive sort
    of door, with a curious up-all-night air about it, that appeared to
    be ashamed of itself and to be hiding in an alley, she hesitated to
    approach it; being further deterred by the sight of some half-dozen
    close-shaved gentlemen with their hats very strangely on, who were
    lounging about the door, looking not at all unlike Collegians. On
    her applying to them, reassured by this resemblance, for a
    direction to Miss Dorrit, they made way for her to enter a dark
    hall--it was more like a great grim lamp gone out than anything
    else--where she could hear the distant playing of music and the
    sound of dancing feet. A man so much in want of airing that he had
    a blue mould upon him, sat watching this dark place from a hole in
    a corner, like a spider; and he told her that he would send a
    message up to Miss Dorrit by the first lady or gentleman who went
    through. The first lady who went through had a roll of music, half
    in her muff and half out of it, and was in such a tumbled condition
    altogether, that it seemed as if it would be an act of kindness to
    iron her. But as she was very good-natured, and said, 'Come with
    me; I'll soon find Miss Dorrit for you,' Miss Dorrit's sister went
    with her, drawing nearer and nearer at every step she took in the
    darkness to the sound of music and the sound of dancing feet.

    At last they came into a maze of dust, where a quantity of people
    were tumbling over one another, and where there was such a
    confusion of unaccountable shapes of beams, bulkheads, brick walls,
    ropes, and rollers, and such a mixing of gaslight and daylight,
    that they seemed to have got on the wrong side of the pattern of
    the universe. Little Dorrit, left to herself, and knocked against
    by somebody every moment, was quite bewildered, when she heard her
    sister's voice.

    'Why, good gracious, Amy, what ever brought you here?'

    'I wanted to see you, Fanny dear; and as I am going out all day to-
    morrow, and knew you might be engaged all day to-day, I thought--'

    'But the idea, Amy, of YOU coming behind! I never did!' As her
    sister said this in no very cordial tone of welcome, she conducted
    her to a more open part of the maze, where various golden chairs
    and tables were heaped together, and where a number of young ladies
    were sitting on anything they could find, chattering. All these
    young ladies wanted ironing, and all had a curious way of looking
    everywhere while they chattered.

    just as the sisters arrived here, a monotonous boy in a Scotch cap
    put his head round a beam on the left, and said, 'Less noise there,
    ladies!' and disappeared. Immediately after which, a sprightly
    gentleman with a quantity of long black hair looked round a beam on
    the right, and said, 'Less noise there, darlings!' and also
    disappeared.

    'The notion of you among professionals, Amy, is really the last
    thing I could have conceived!' said her sister. 'Why, how did you
    ever get here?'

    'I don't know. The lady who told you I was here, was so good as to
    bring me in.'

    'Like you quiet little things! You can make your way anywhere, I
    believe. I couldn't have managed it, Amy, though I know so much
    more of the world.'

    It was the family custom to lay it down as family law, that she was
    a plain domestic little creature, without the great and sage
    experience of the rest. This family fiction was the family
    assertion of itself against her services. Not to make too much of
    them.

    'Well! And what have you got on your mind, Amy? Of course you
    have got something on your mind about me?' said Fanny. She spoke
    as if her sister, between two and three years her junior, were her
    prejudiced grandmother.

    'It is not much; but since you told me of the lady who gave you the
    bracelet, Fanny--'

    The monotonous boy put his head round the beam on the left, and
    said, 'Look out there, ladies!' and disappeared. The sprightly
    gentleman with the black hair as suddenly put his head round the
    beam on the right, and said, 'Look out there, darlings!' and also
    disappeared. Thereupon all the young ladies rose and began shaking
    their skirts out behind.

    'Well, Amy?' said Fanny, doing as the rest did; 'what were you
    going to say?'

    'Since you told me a lady had given you the bracelet you showed me,
    Fanny, I have not been quite easy on your account, and indeed want
    to know a little more if you will confide more to me.'

    'Now, ladies!' said the boy in the Scotch cap. 'Now, darlings!'
    said the gentleman with the black hair. They were every one gone
    in a moment, and the music and the dancing feet were heard again.

    Little Dorrit sat down in a golden chair, made quite giddy by these
    rapid interruptions. Her sister and the rest were a long time
    gone; and during their absence a voice (it appeared to be that of
    the gentleman with the black hair) was continually calling out
    through the music, 'One, two, three, four, five, six--go! One,
    two, three, four, five, six--go! Steady, darlings! One, two,
    three, four, five, six--go!' Ultimately the voice stopped, and
    they all came back again, more or less out of breath, folding
    themselves in their shawls, and making ready for the streets.
    'Stop a moment, Amy, and let them get away before us,' whispered
    Fanny. They were soon left alone; nothing more important
    happening, in the meantime, than the boy looking round his old
    beam, and saying, 'Everybody at eleven to-morrow, ladies!' and the
    gentleman with the black hair looking round his old beam, and
    saying, 'Everybody at eleven to-morrow, darlings!' each in his own
    accustomed manner.

    When they were alone, something was rolled up or by other means got
    out of the way, and there was a great empty well before them,
    looking down into the depths of which Fanny said, 'Now, uncle!'
    Little Dorrit, as her eyes became used to the darkness, faintly
    made him out at the bottom of the well, in an obscure corner by
    himself, with his instrument in its ragged case under his arm.

    The old man looked as if the remote high gallery windows, with
    their little strip of sky, might have been the point of his better
    fortunes, from which he had descended, until he had gradually sunk
    down below there to the bottom. He had been in that place six
    nights a week for many years, but had never been observed to raise
    his eyes above his music-book, and was confidently believed to have
    never seen a play. There were legends in the place that he did not
    so much as know the popular heroes and heroines by sight, and that
    the low comedian had 'mugged' at him in his richest manner fifty
    nights for a wager, and he had shown no trace of consciousness.
    The carpenters had a joke to the effect that he was dead without
    being aware of it; and the frequenters of the pit supposed him to
    pass his whole life, night and day, and Sunday and all, in the
    orchestra. They had tried him a few times with pinches of snuff
    offered over the rails, and he had always responded to this
    attention with a momentary waking up of manner that had the pale
    phantom of a gentleman in it: beyond this he never, on any
    occasion, had any other part in what was going on than the part
    written out for the clarionet; in private life, where there was no
    part for the clarionet, he had no part at all. Some said he was
    poor, some said he was a wealthy miser; but he said nothing, never
    lifted up his bowed head, never varied his shuffling gait by
    getting his springless foot from the ground. Though expecting now
    to be summoned by his niece, he did not hear her until she had
    spoken to him three or four times; nor was he at all surprised by
    the presence of two nieces instead of one, but merely said in his
    tremulous voice, 'I am coming, I am coming!' and crept forth by
    some underground way which emitted a cellarous smell.

    'And so, Amy,' said her sister, when the three together passed out
    at the door that had such a shame-faced consciousness of being
    different from other doors: the uncle instinctively taking Amy's
    arm as the arm to be relied on: 'so, Amy, you are curious about
    me?'

    She was pretty, and conscious, and rather flaunting; and the
    condescension with which she put aside the superiority of her
    charms, and of her worldly experience, and addressed her sister on
    almost equal terms, had a vast deal of the family in it.

    'I am interested, Fanny, and concerned in anything that concerns
    you.'

    'So you are, so you are, and you are the best of Amys. If I am
    ever a little provoking, I am sure you'll consider what a thing it
    is to occupy my position and feel a consciousness of being superior
    to it. I shouldn't care,' said the Daughter of the Father of the
    Marshalsea, 'if the others were not so common. None of them have
    come down in the world as we have. They are all on their own
    level. Common.'

    Little Dorrit mildly looked at the speaker, but did not interrupt
    her. Fanny took out her handkerchief, and rather angrily wiped her
    eyes. 'I was not born where you were, you know, Amy, and perhaps
    that makes a difference. My dear child, when we get rid of Uncle,
    you shall know all about it. We'll drop him at the cook's shop
    where he is going to dine.'

    They walked on with him until they came to a dirty shop window in
    a dirty street, which was made almost opaque by the steam of hot
    meats, vegetables, and puddings. But glimpses were to be caught of
    a roast leg of pork bursting into tears of sage and onion in a
    metal reservoir full of gravy, of an unctuous piece of roast beef
    and blisterous Yorkshire pudding, bubbling hot in a similar
    receptacle, of a stuffed fillet of veal in rapid cut, of a ham in
    a perspiration with the pace it was going at, of a shallow tank of
    baked potatoes glued together by their own richness, of a truss or
    two of boiled greens, and other substantial delicacies. Within,
    were a few wooden partitions, behind which such customers as found
    it more convenient to take away their dinners in stomachs than in
    their hands, Packed their purchases in solitude. Fanny opening her
    reticule, as they surveyed these things, produced from that
    repository a shilling and handed it to Uncle. Uncle, after not
    looking at it a little while, divined its object, and muttering
    'Dinner? Ha! Yes, yes, yes!' slowly vanished from them into the
    mist.

    'Now, Amy,' said her sister, 'come with me, if you are not too
    tired to walk to Harley Street, Cavendish Square.'

    The air with which she threw off this distinguished address and the
    toss she gave to her new bonnet (which was more gauzy than
    serviceable), made her sister wonder; however, she expressed her
    readiness to go to Harley Street, and thither they directed their
    steps. Arrived at that grand destination, Fanny singled out the
    handsomest house, and knocking at the door, inquired for Mrs
    Merdle. The footman who opened the door, although he had powder on
    his head and was backed up by two other footmen likewise powdered,
    not only admitted Mrs Merdle to be at home, but asked Fanny to walk
    in. Fanny walked in, taking her sister with her; and they went up-
    stairs with powder going before and powder stopping behind, and
    were left in a spacious semicircular drawing-room, one of several
    drawing-rooms, where there was a parrot on the outside of a golden
    cage holding on by its beak, with its scaly legs in the air, and
    putting itself into many strange upside-down postures. This
    peculiarity has been observed in birds of quite another feather,
    climbing upon golden wires.

    The room was far more splendid than anything Little Dorrit had ever
    imagined, and would have been splendid and costly in any eyes. She
    looked in amazement at her sister and would have asked a question,
    but that Fanny with a warning frown pointed to a curtained doorway
    of communication with another room. The curtain shook next moment,
    and a lady, raising it with a heavily ringed hand, dropped it
    behind her again as she entered.

    The lady was not young and fresh from the hand of Nature, but was
    young and fresh from the hand of her maid. She had large unfeeling
    handsome eyes, and dark unfeeling handsome hair, and a broad
    unfeeling handsome bosom, and was made the most of in every
    particular. Either because she had a cold, or because it suited
    her face, she wore a rich white fillet tied over her head and under
    her chin. And if ever there were an unfeeling handsome chin that
    looked as if, for certain, it had never been, in familiar parlance,
    'chucked' by the hand of man, it was the chin curbed up so tight
    and close by that laced bridle.

    'Mrs Merdle,' said Fanny. 'My sister, ma'am.'

    'I am glad to see your sister, Miss Dorrit. I did not remember
    that you had a sister.'

    'I did not mention that I had,' said Fanny.

    'Ah!' Mrs Merdle curled the little finger of her left hand as who
    should say, 'I have caught you. I know you didn't!' All her
    action was usually with her left hand because her hands were not a
    pair; and left being much the whiter and plumper of the two. Then
    she added: 'Sit down,' and composed herself voluptuously, in a nest
    of crimson and gold cushions, on an ottoman near the parrot.

    'Also professional?' said Mrs Merdle, looking at Little Dorrit
    through an eye-glass.

    Fanny answered No. 'No,' said Mrs Merdle, dropping her glass.
    'Has not a professional air. Very pleasant; but not professional.'

    'My sister, ma'am,' said Fanny, in whom there was a singular
    mixture of deference and hardihood, 'has been asking me to tell
    her, as between sisters, how I came to have the honour of knowing
    you. And as I had engaged to call upon you once more, I thought I
    might take the liberty of bringing her with me, when perhaps you
    would tell her. I wish her to know, and perhaps you will tell
    her?'
    'Do you think, at your sister's age--' hinted Mrs Merdle.

    'She is much older than she looks,' said Fanny; 'almost as old as
    I am.'

    'Society,' said Mrs Merdle, with another curve of her little
    finger, 'is so difficult to explain to young persons (indeed is so
    difficult to explain to most persons), that I am glad to hear that.

    I wish Society was not so arbitrary, I wish it was not so exacting
    -- Bird, be quiet!'

    The parrot had given a most piercing shriek, as if its name were
    Society and it asserted its right to its exactions.

    'But,' resumed Mrs Merdle, 'we must take it as we find it. We know
    it is hollow and conventional and worldly and very shocking, but
    unless we are Savages in the Tropical seas (I should have been
    charmed to be one myself--most delightful life and perfect climate,
    I am told), we must consult it. It is the common lot. Mr Merdle
    is a most extensive merchant, his transactions are on the vastest
    scale, his wealth and influence are very great, but even he-- Bird,
    be quiet!'

    The parrot had shrieked another shriek; and it filled up the
    sentence so expressively that Mrs Merdle was under no necessity to
    end it.

    'Since your sister begs that I would terminate our personal
    acquaintance,' she began again, addressing Little Dorrit, 'by
    relating the circumstances that are much to her credit, I cannot
    object to comply with her request, I am sure. I have a son (I was
    first married extremely young) of two or three-and-twenty.'

    Fanny set her lips, and her eyes looked half triumphantly at her
    sister.

    'A son of two or three-and-twenty. He is a little gay, a thing
    Society is accustomed to in young men, and he is very impressible.
    Perhaps he inherits that misfortune. I am very impressible myself,
    by nature. The weakest of creatures--my feelings are touched in a
    moment.'

    She said all this, and everything else, as coldly as a woman of
    snow; quite forgetting the sisters except at odd times, and
    apparently addressing some abstraction of Society; for whose
    behoof, too, she occasionally arranged her dress, or the
    composition of her figure upon the ottoman.

    'So he is very impressible. Not a misfortune in our natural state
    I dare say, but we are not in a natural state. Much to be
    lamented, no doubt, particularly by myself, who am a child of
    nature if I could but show it; but so it is. Society suppresses us
    and dominates us-- Bird, be quiet!'
    The parrot had broken into a violent fit of laughter, after
    twisting divers bars of his cage with his crooked bill, and licking
    them with his black tongue.

    'It is quite unnecessary to say to a person of your good sense,
    wide range of experience, and cultivated feeling,' said Mrs Merdle
    from her nest of crimson and gold--and there put up her glass to
    refresh her memory as to whom she was addressing,--'that the stage
    sometimes has a fascination for young men of that class of
    character. In saying the stage, I mean the people on it of the
    female sex. Therefore, when I heard that my son was supposed to be
    fascinated by a dancer, I knew what that usually meant in Society,
    and confided in her being a dancer at the Opera, where young men
    moving in Society are usually fascinated.'

    She passed her white hands over one another, observant of the
    sisters now; and the rings upon her fingers grated against each
    other with a hard sound.

    'As your sister will tell you, when I found what the theatre was I
    was much surprised and much distressed. But when I found that your
    sister, by rejecting my son's advances (I must add, in an
    unexpected manner), had brought him to the point of proposing
    marriage, my feelings were of the profoundest anguish--acute.' She
    traced the outline of her left eyebrow, and put it right.

    'In a distracted condition, which only a mother--moving in
    Society--can be susceptible of, I determined to go myself to the
    theatre, and represent my state of mind to the dancer. I made
    myself known to your sister. I found her, to my surprise, in many
    respects different from my expectations; and certainly in none more
    so, than in meeting me with--what shall I say--a sort of family
    assertion on her own part?' Mrs Merdle smiled.

    'I told you, ma'am,' said Fanny, with a heightening colour, 'that
    although you found me in that situation, I was so far above the
    rest, that I considered my family as good as your son's; and that
    I had a brother who, knowing the circumstances, would be of the
    same opinion, and would not consider such a connection any honour.'

    'Miss Dorrit,' said Mrs Merdle, after frostily looking at her
    through her glass, 'precisely what I was on the point of telling
    your sister, in pursuance of your request. Much obliged to you for
    recalling it so accurately and anticipating me. I immediately,'
    addressing Little Dorrit, '(for I am the creature of impulse), took
    a bracelet from my arm, and begged your sister to let me clasp it
    on hers, in token of the delight I had in our being able to
    approach the subject so far on a common footing.' (This was
    perfectly true, the lady having bought a cheap and showy article on
    her way to the interview, with a general eye to bribery.)

    'And I told you, Mrs Merdle,' said Fanny, 'that we might be
    unfortunate, but we are not common.'

    'I think, the very words, Miss Dorrit,' assented Mrs Merdle.

    'And I told you, Mrs Merdle,' said Fanny, 'that if you spoke to me
    of the superiority of your son's standing in Society, it was barely
    possible that you rather deceived yourself in your suppositions
    about my origin; and that my father's standing, even in the Society
    in which he now moved (what that was, was best known to myself),
    was eminently superior, and was acknowledged by every one.'

    'Quite accurate,' rejoined Mrs Merdle. 'A most admirable memory.'

    'Thank you, ma'am. Perhaps you will be so kind as to tell my
    sister the rest.'

    'There is very little to tell,' said Mrs Merdle, reviewing the
    breadth of bosom which seemed essential to her having room enough
    to be unfeeling in, 'but it is to your sister's credit. I pointed
    out to your sister the plain state of the case; the impossibility
    of the Society in which we moved recognising the Society in which
    she moved--though charming, I have no doubt; the immense
    disadvantage at which she would consequently place the family she
    had so high an opinion of, upon which we should find ourselves
    compelled to look down with contempt, and from which (socially
    speaking) we should feel obliged to recoil with abhorrence. In
    short, I made an appeal to that laudable pride in your sister.'

    'Let my sister know, if you please, Mrs Merdle,' Fanny pouted, with
    a toss of her gauzy bonnet, 'that I had already had the honour of
    telling your son that I wished to have nothing whatever to say to
    him.'

    'Well, Miss Dorrit,' assented Mrs Merdle, 'perhaps I might have
    mentioned that before. If I did not think of it, perhaps it was
    because my mind reverted to the apprehensions I had at the time
    that he might persevere and you might have something to say to him.

    I also mentioned to your sister--I again address the non-
    professional Miss Dorrit--that my son would have nothing in the
    event of such a marriage, and would be an absolute beggar. (I
    mention that merely as a fact which is part of the narrative, and
    not as supposing it to have influenced your sister, except in the
    prudent and legitimate way in which, constituted as our artificial
    system is, we must all be influenced by such considerations.)
    Finally, after some high words and high spirit on the part of your
    sister, we came to the complete understanding that there was no
    danger; and your sister was so obliging as to allow me to present
    her with a mark or two of my appreciation at my dressmaker's.'

    Little Dorrit looked sorry, and glanced at Fanny with a troubled
    face.

    'Also,' said Mrs Merdle, 'as to promise to give me the present
    pleasure of a closing interview, and of parting with her on the
    best of terms. On which occasion,' added Mrs Merdle, quitting her
    nest, and putting something in Fanny's hand, 'Miss Dorrit will
    permit me to say Farewell with best wishes in my own dull manner.'

    The sisters rose at the same time, and they all stood near the cage
    of the parrot, as he tore at a claw-full of biscuit and spat it
    out, seemed to mock them with a pompous dance of his body without
    moving his feet, and suddenly turned himself upside down and
    trailed himself all over the outside of his golden cage, with the
    aid of his cruel beak and black tongue.

    'Adieu, Miss Dorrit, with best wishes,' said Mrs Merdle. 'If we
    could only come to a Millennium, or something of that sort, I for
    one might have the pleasure of knowing a number of charming and
    talented persons from whom I am at present excluded. A more
    primitive state of society would be delicious to me. There used to
    be a poem when I learnt lessons, something about Lo the poor
    Indians whose something mind! If a few thousand persons moving in
    Society, could only go and be Indians, I would put my name down
    directly; but as, moving in Society, we can't be Indians,
    unfortunately--Good morning!'

    They came down-stairs with powder before them and powder behind,
    the elder sister haughty and the younger sister humbled, and were
    shut out into unpowdered Harley Street, Cavendish Square.

    'Well?' said Fanny, when they had gone a little way without
    speaking. 'Have you nothing to say, Amy?'

    'Oh, I don't know what to say!' she answered, distressed. 'You
    didn't like this young man, Fanny?'

    'Like him? He is almost an idiot.'

    'I am so sorry--don't be hurt--but, since you ask me what I have to
    say, I am so very sorry, Fanny, that you suffered this lady to give
    you anything.'

    'You little Fool!' returned her sister, shaking her with the sharp
    pull she gave her arm. 'Have you no spirit at all? But that's
    just the way! You have no self-respect, you have no becoming
    pride. just as you allow yourself to be followed about by a
    contemptible little Chivery of a thing,' with the scornfullest
    emphasis, 'you would let your family be trodden on, and never
    turn.'

    'Don't say that, dear Fanny. I do what I can for them.'

    'You do what you can for them!' repeated Fanny, walking her on very
    fast. 'Would you let a woman like this, whom you could see, if you
    had any experience of anything, to be as false and insolent as a
    woman can be--would you let her put her foot upon your family, and
    thank her for it?'

    'No, Fanny, I am sure.'
    'Then make her pay for it, you mean little thing. What else can
    you make her do? Make her pay for it, you stupid child; and do
    your family some credit with the money!'

    They spoke no more all the way back to the lodging where Fanny and
    her uncle lived. When they arrived there, they found the old man
    practising his clarionet in the dolefullest manner in a corner of
    the room. Fanny had a composite meal to make, of chops, and
    porter, and tea; and indignantly pretended to prepare it for
    herself, though her sister did all that in quiet reality. When at
    last Fanny sat down to eat and drink, she threw the table
    implements about and was angry with her bread, much as her father
    had been last night.

    'If you despise me,' she said, bursting into vehement tears,
    'because I am a dancer, why did you put me in the way of being one?

    It was your doing. You would have me stoop as low as the ground
    before this Mrs Merdle, and let her say what she liked and do what
    she liked, and hold us all in contempt, and tell me so to my face.
    Because I am a dancer!'

    'O Fanny!'

    'And Tip, too, poor fellow. She is to disparage him just as much
    as she likes, without any check--I suppose because he has been in
    the law, and the docks, and different things. Why, it was your
    doing, Amy. You might at least approve of his being defended.'

    All this time the uncle was dolefully blowing his clarionet in the
    corner, sometimes taking it an inch or so from his mouth for a
    moment while he stopped to gaze at them, with a vague impression
    that somebody had said something.

    'And your father, your poor father, Amy. Because he is not free to
    show himself and to speak for himself, you would let such people
    insult him with impunity. If you don't feel for yourself because
    you go out to work, you might at least feel for him, I should
    think, knowing what he has undergone so long.'

    Poor Little Dorrit felt the injustice of this taunt rather sharply.

    The remembrance of last night added a barbed point to it. She said
    nothing in reply, but turned her chair from the table towards the
    fire. Uncle, after making one more pause, blew a dismal wail and
    went on again.

    Fanny was passionate with the tea-cups and the bread as long as her
    passion lasted, and then protested that she was the wretchedest
    girl in the world, and she wished she was dead. After that, her
    crying became remorseful, and she got up and put her arms round her
    sister. Little Dorrit tried to stop her from saying anything, but
    she answered that she would, she must! Thereupon she said again,
    and again, 'I beg your pardon, Amy,' and 'Forgive me, Amy,' almost
    as passionately as she had said what she regretted.

    'But indeed, indeed, Amy,' she resumed when they were seated in
    sisterly accord side by side, 'I hope and I think you would have
    seen this differently, if you had known a little more of Society.'

    'Perhaps I might, Fanny,' said the mild Little Dorrit.

    'You see, while you have been domestic and resignedly shut up
    there, Amy,' pursued her sister, gradually beginning to patronise,
    'I have been out, moving more in Society, and may have been getting
    proud and spirited--more than I ought to be, perhaps?'

    Little Dorrit answered 'Yes. O yes!'

    'And while you have been thinking of the dinner or the clothes, I
    may have been thinking, you know, of the family. Now, may it not
    be so, Amy?'

    Little Dorrit again nodded 'Yes,' with a more cheerful face than
    heart.

    'Especially as we know,' said Fanny, 'that there certainly is a
    tone in the place to which you have been so true, which does belong
    to it, and which does make it different from other aspects of
    Society. So kiss me once again, Amy dear, and we will agree that
    we may both be right, and that you are a tranquil, domestic, home-
    loving, good girl.'

    The clarionet had been lamenting most pathetically during this
    dialogue, but was cut short now by Fanny's announcement that it was
    time to go; which she conveyed to her uncle by shutting up his
    scrap of music, and taking the clarionet out of his mouth.

    Little Dorrit parted from them at the door, and hastened back to
    the Marshalsea. It fell dark there sooner than elsewhere, and
    going into it that evening was like going into a deep trench. The
    shadow of the wall was on every object. Not least upon the figure
    in the old grey gown and the black velvet cap, as it turned towards
    her when she opened the door of the dim room.

    'Why not upon me too!' thought Little Dorrit, with the door Yet in
    her hand. 'It was not unreasonable in Fanny.'
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    Chapter 21
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