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"Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life."
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Chapter 59 - Page 2
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After waiting for another half-hour, he dispatched the woman who
kept his house to Newman's lodging, to inquire if he were ill, and
why he had not come or sent. She brought back answer that he had
not been home all night, and that no one could tell her anything
about him.
'But there is a gentleman, sir,' she said, 'below, who was standing
at the door when I came in, and he says--'
'What says he?' demanded Ralph, turning angrily upon her. 'I told
you I would see nobody.'
'He says,' replied the woman, abashed by his harshness, 'that he
comes on very particular business which admits of no excuse; and I
thought perhaps it might be about--'
'About what, in the devil's name?' said Ralph. 'You spy and
speculate on people's business with me, do you?'
'Dear, no, sir! I saw you were anxious, and thought it might be
about Mr Noggs; that's all.'
'Saw I was anxious!' muttered Ralph; 'they all watch me, now. Where
is this person? You did not say I was not down yet, I hope?'
The woman replied that he was in the little office, and that she had
said her master was engaged, but she would take the message.
'Well,' said Ralph, 'I'll see him. Go you to your kitchen, and keep
there. Do you mind me?'
Glad to be released, the woman quickly disappeared. Collecting
himself, and assuming as much of his accustomed manner as his utmost
resolution could summon, Ralph descended the stairs. After pausing
for a few moments, with his hand upon the lock, he entered Newman's
room, and confronted Mr Charles Cheeryble.
Of all men alive, this was one of the last he would have wished to
meet at any time; but, now that he recognised in him only the patron
and protector of Nicholas, he would rather have seen a spectre. One
beneficial effect, however, the encounter had upon him. It
instantly roused all his dormant energies; rekindled in his breast
the passions that, for many years, had found an improving home
there; called up all his wrath, hatred, and malice; restored the
sneer to his lip, and the scowl to his brow; and made him again, in
all outward appearance, the same Ralph Nickleby whom so many had
bitter cause to remember.
'Humph!' said Ralph, pausing at the door. 'This is an unexpected
favour, sir.'
'And an unwelcome one,' said brother Charles; 'an unwelcome one, I
know.'
'Men say you are truth itself, sir,' replied Ralph. 'You speak
truth now, at all events, and I'll not contradict you. The favour
is, at least, as unwelcome as it is unexpected. I can scarcely say
more.'
'Plainly, sir--' began brother Charles.
'Plainly, sir,' interrupted Ralph, 'I wish this conference to be a
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