Chapter 7

Fan saw no more company after that evening, for which she was not sorry;
but that had been a red-letter day to her--not soon, perhaps never, to be
forgotten.

Great as the human adaptiveness is at the age at which Fan then was, that
loving-kindness of her mistress--of one so proud and beautiful above all
women, and, to the girl's humble ideas, so rich "beyond the dreams of
avarice"--retained its mysterious, almost incredible, character to her
mind, and was a continual cause of wonder to her, and at times of ill-
defined but anxious thought. For what had she--a poor, simple, ignorant
useless girl--to keep the affection of such a one as Miss Starbrow? And
as the days and weeks went by, that vague anxiety did not leave her; for
the more she saw of her mistress, the less did she seem like one of a
steadfast mind, whose feelings would always remain the same. She was
touchy, passionate, variable in temper; and if her stormy periods were
short-lived, she also had cold and sullen moods, which lasted long, and
turned all her sweetness sour; and at such times Fan feared to approach
her, but sat apart distressed and sorrowful. And yet, whatever her mood
was, she never spoke sharply to Fan, or seemed to grow weary of her. And
once, during one of those precious half-hours, when they sat together at
the bedroom fire before dinner, when Miss Starbrow in a tender mood again
drew the girl to her side and kissed her, Fan, even while her heart was
overflowing with happiness, allowed something of the fear that was mixed
with it to appear in her words.

"Oh, Mary, if I could do something for you!" she murmured. "But I can do
nothing--I can only love you. I wish--I wish you would tell me what to do
to--to keep your love!"

Miss Starbrow's face clouded. "Perhaps your heart is a prophetic one,
Fan," she said; "but you must not have those dismal forebodings, or if
they will come, then pay as little heed to them as possible. Everything
changes about us, and we change too--I suppose we can't help it. Let us
try to believe that we will always love each other. Our food is not less
grateful to us because it is possible that at some future day we shall
have to go hungry. Oh, poor Fan, why should such thoughts trouble your
young heart? Take the goods the gods give you, and do not repine because
we are not angels in Heaven, with an eternity to enjoy ourselves in. I
love you now, and find it sweet to love you, as I have never loved anyone
of my own sex before. Women, as a rule, I detest. You can do, and are
doing, more than you know for me."

Fan did not understand it all; but something of it she did understand,
and it had a reassuring effect on her mind.

Her life at this