Chapter 34

With a mind agitated with a variety of emotions--her still active
resentment, grief at her loss, and a burning sense of shame at the
thought that her too ready response to Eden's first advances had misled
and tempted him--Fan set about destroying and putting from her all
reminders of this last vanished friendship.

She burnt the letters, and made up his books into a large package: there
were about fifteen volumes by this time, including one that she had been
reading with profound interest. She would never know the end of that
tale--the pathetic history of a beautiful young girl, friendless like
herself in London; nor would she ever again see that book or hear its
title spoken without experiencing a pain at her heart. The parcel was
addressed in readiness to be sent off next morning, and there being
nothing more to occupy her hands, she sat down in her room, overcome with
a feeling of utter loneliness. Why was she alone, without one person in
all the world to care for her? Was it because of her poverty, her lowly
origin, or because she was not clever? She had been called pretty so
often--Mary, Constance, all of them had said so much in praise of her
beauty; but how poor a thing this was if it could not bind a single soul
to her, if all those who loved for a time parted lightly from her--those
of her own sex; while the feeling that it inspired in men was one she
shrunk fearfully from.

During the next few days she was ill at ease, and in constant fear of
some action on Mr. Eden's part, dictated by passion or some other motive.
But she saw and heard nothing of him; even the parcel of books was not
acknowledged, and by Thursday she had almost convinced herself that he
had abandoned the pursuit. On the evening of that day, just after she had
gone up to her room at the top of the house, her heavy-footed landlady
was heard toiling up after her, and coming into the room, she sank down
panting in a chair.

"These stairs do try my heart, miss," she said, "but you didn't hear me
call from my room when you came up. There's a gentleman waiting to see
you in the parlour. I took him in there because he wouldn't go away until
he had seen you."

"Mr. Eden--oh, why has he come here to make me more unhappy?" thought
Fan, turning pale with apprehension.

"He's that impatient, miss, you'd better go down soon. He's been ringing
the bell every five minutes to see if you'd come, and says you are very
late." Then she got up and set out on her journey downstairs, but paused
at the door. "Oh, here's the gentleman's card--I quite forgot it." And
placing it on the table, she left the room.

For some moments Fan stood hesitating, then without removing her hat, and