Village Worthies - Page 2

pretty face did not get a husband.

He has also his cabinet councillors in the village, with whom he is very
busy just now, preparing for the May-Day ceremonies. Among these is the
village tailor, a pale-faced fellow, that plays the clarionet in the
church choir; and, being a great musical genius, has frequent meetings
of the band at his house, where they "make night hideous" by their
concerts. He is, in consequence, high in favour with Master Simon; and,
through his influence, has the making, or rather marring, of all the
liveries of the Hall; which generally look as though they had been cut
out by one of those scientific tailors of the Flying Island of Laputa,
who took measure of their customers with a quadrant. The tailor, in
fact, might rise to be one of the monied men of the village, was he not
rather too prone to gossip, and keep holidays, and give concerts, and
blow all his substance, real and personal, through his clarionet, which
literally keeps him poor both in body and estate. He has for the present
thrown by all his regular work, and suffered the breeches of the
village to go unmade and unmended, while he is occupied in making
garlands of particoloured rags, in imitation of flowers, for the
decoration of the May-pole.

Another of Master Simon's councillors is the apothecary, a short, and
rather fat man, with a pair of prominent eyes, that diverge like those
of a lobster. He is the village wise man; very sententious; and full of
profound remarks on shallow subjects. Master Simon often quotes his
sayings, and mentions him as rather an extraordinary man; and even
consults him occasionally in desperate cases of the dogs and horses.
Indeed he seems to have been overwhelmed by the apothecary's philosophy,
which is exactly one observation deep, consisting of indisputable
maxims, such as may be gathered from the mottoes of tobacco boxes. I had
a specimen of his philosophy in my very first conversation with him; in
the course of which he observed, with great solemnity and emphasis, that
"man is a compound of wisdom and folly;" upon which Master Simon, who
had hold of my arm, pressed very hard upon it, and whispered in my ear,
"That's a devilish shrewd remark!"