Chapter 50 - Page 2

'Bless me, you are surely not mad enough to think of leaving
your patients without anybody to attend them!' remonstrated
Mr. Pickwick in a very serious tone.

'Why not?' asked Bob, in reply. 'I shall save by it, you know.
None of them ever pay. Besides,' said Bob, lowering his voice to
a confidential whisper, 'they will be all the better for it; for,
being nearly out of drugs, and not able to increase my account
just now, I should have been obliged to give them calomel all
round, and it would have been certain to have disagreed with
some of them. So it's all for the best.'

There was a philosophy and a strength of reasoning about this
reply, which Mr. Pickwick was not prepared for. He paused a
few moments, and added, less firmly than before--

'But this chaise, my young friend, will only hold two; and I am
pledged to Mr. Allen.'

'Don't think of me for a minute,' replied Bob. 'I've arranged
it all; Sam and I will share the dickey between us. Look here.
This little bill is to be wafered on the shop door: "Sawyer, late
Nockemorf. Inquire of Mrs. Cripps over the way." Mrs. Cripps
is my boy's mother. "Mr. Sawyer's very sorry," says Mrs. Cripps,
"couldn't help it--fetched away early this morning to a
consultation of the very first surgeons in the country--couldn't do
without him--would have him at any price--tremendous
operation." The fact is,' said Bob, in conclusion, 'it'll do me more
good than otherwise, I expect. If it gets into one of the local
papers, it will be the making of me. Here's Ben; now then,
jump in!'

With these hurried words, Mr. Bob Sawyer pushed the postboy
on one side, jerked his friend into the vehicle, slammed the door,
put up the steps, wafered the bill on the street door, locked it,
put the key in his pocket, jumped into the dickey, gave the word
for starting, and did the whole with such extraordinary
precipitation, that before Mr. Pickwick had well begun to consider
whether Mr. Bob Sawyer ought to go or not, they were rolling
away, with Mr. Bob Sawyer thoroughly established as part and
parcel of the equipage.

So long as their progress was confined to the streets of Bristol,
the facetious Bob kept his professional green spectacles on, and
conducted himself with becoming steadiness and gravity of
demeanour; merely giving utterance to divers verbal witticisms
for the exclusive behoof and entertainment of Mr. Samuel Weller.
But when they emerged on the open road, he threw off his green
spectacles and his gravity together, and performed a great variety
of practical jokes, which were calculated to attract the attention
of the passersby, and to render the carriage and those it
contained objects of more than ordinary curiosity; the