The Village that Voted the Earth was Flat - Page 2

pointed out that it was very serious. I
took the same view myself when in due time I found that I, too, was
summonsed on charges ranging from the use of obscene language to
endangering traffic.

Judgment was done in a little pale-yellow market-town with a small,
Jubilee clock-tower and a large corn-exchange. Woodhouse drove us there
in his car. Pallant, who had not been included in the summons, came with
us as moral support. While we waited outside, the fat man on the grey
horse rode up and entered into loud talk with his brother magistrates.
He said to one of them--for I took the trouble to note it down--'It
falls away from my lodge-gates, dead straight, three-quarters of a mile.
I'd defy any one to resist it. We rooked seventy pounds out of 'em last
month. No car can resist the temptation. You ought to have one your side
the county, Mike. They simply can't resist it.'

'Whew!' said Woodhouse. 'We're in for trouble. Don't you say a word--or
Ollyett either! I'll pay the fines and we'll get it over as soon as
possible. Where's Pallant?'

'At the back of the court somewhere,' said Ollyett. 'I saw him slip in
just now.'

The fat man then took his seat on the Bench, of which he was chairman,
and I gathered from a bystander that his name was Sir Thomas Ingell,
Bart., M.P., of Ingell Park, Huckley. He began with an allocution
pitched in a tone that would have justified revolt throughout empires.
Evidence, when the crowded little court did not drown it with applause,
was given in the pauses of the address. They were all very proud of
their Sir Thomas, and looked from him to us, wondering why we did not
applaud too.

Taking its time from the chairman, the Bench rollicked with us for
seventeen minutes. Sir Thomas explained that he was sick and tired of
processions of cads of our type, who would be better employed breaking
stones on the road than in frightening horses worth more than themselves
or their ancestors. This was after it had been proved that Woodhouse's
man had turned on the horn purposely to annoy Sir Thomas, who happened
to be riding by'! There were other remarks too--primitive enough,--but
it was the unspeakable brutality of the tone, even more than the quality
of the justice, or the laughter of the audience that stung our souls out
of all reason. When we were dismissed--to the tune of twenty-three
pounds, twelve shillings and sixpence--we waited for Pallant to join us,
while we listened to the next case--one of driving without a licence.
Ollyett with an eye to his evening paper, had already taken very full
notes of our own, but we did not wish to seem prejudiced.

'It's all right,' said the reporter of the local paper soothingly. 'We
never report Sir Thomas _in