Ch. 14: The Dream of Duncan Parrenness - Page 2

women,
and specially those who have led only indifferent good lives themselves,
are cruel hard one on another. Besides, Mrs. Vansuythen was far prettier
than them all. She had been most gracious to me at the Governor-
General's rout, and indeed I was looked upon by all as her preux
chevalier--which is French for a much worse word. Now, whether I cared
so much as the scratch of a pin for this same Mrs. Vansuythen (albeit I
had vowed eternal love three days after we met) I knew not then nor did
till later on; but mine own pride, and a skill in the small sword that
no man in Calcutta could equal, kept me in her affections. So that I
believed I worshipt her.

When I had dismist her violet eyes from my thoughts, my reason reproacht
me for ever having followed her at all; and I saw how the one year that
I had lived in this land had so burnt and seared my mind with the flames
of a thousand bad passions and desires, that I had aged ten months for
each one in the Devil's school. Whereat I thought of my Mother for a
while, and was very penitent: making in my sinful tipsy mood a thousand
vows of reformation--all since broken, I fear me, again and again. To-
morrow, says I to myself, I will live cleanly for ever. And I smiled
dizzily (the liquor being still strong in me) to think of the dangers I
had escaped; and built all manner of fine Castles in Spain, whereof a
shadowy Kitty Somerset that had the violet eyes and the sweet slow
speech of Mrs. Vansuythen, was always Queen.

Lastly, a very fine and magnificent courage (that doubtless had its
birth in Mr. Hastings' Madeira) grew upon me, till it seemed that I
could become Governor-General, Nawab, Prince, ay, even the Great Mogul
himself, by the mere wishing of it. Wherefore, taking my first steps,
random and unstable enough, towards my new kingdom, I kickt my servants
sleeping without till they howled and ran from me, and called Heaven and
Earth to witness that I, Duncan Parrenness, was a Writer in the service
of the Company and afraid of no man. Then, seeing that neither the Moon
nor the Great Bear were minded to accept my challenge, I lay down again
and must have fallen asleep.

I was waked presently by my last words repeated two or three times, and
I saw that there had come into the room a drunken man, as I thought,
from Mr. Hastings' rout. He sate down at the foot of my bed in all the
world as it belonged to him, and I took note, as well as I could, that
his face was somewhat like mine own grown older, save when it changed to
the face of the Governor-General or my father, dead these six months.
But this seemed to me only natural, and the due result of too much wine;
and I was so angered at his entry all unannounced, that I told him, not
over civilly,