Chapter 3 - Page 2

anything in me changed at all?

CAPT. G. For Goodness's sake go on with your dinner! You must
eat something. Try one of those cutlet arrangements. (Aside.)
And I fancied she had good shoulders, once upon a time! What an
ass a man can make of himself!

MRS. H. (Helping herself to a paper frill, seven peas, some
stamped carrots and a spoonful of gravy.) That isn't an answer.
Tell me whether I have done anything.

CAPT. G. (Aside.) If it isn't ended here there will be a ghastly
scene some- where else. If only I'd written to her and stood the
racket-at long range! (To Khitmatgar.) Han! Simpkin do. (Aloud.)
I'll tell you later on.

MRS. H. Tell me now. It must be some foolish misunderstanding,
and you know that there was to be nothing of that sort between us.
We) of all people in the world, can't afford it. Is it the Vaynor
man, and don't you like to say so? On my honor-CAPT. G. I haven't
given the Vaynor man a thought.

MRS. H. But how d'you know that I haven't?

CAPT. G. (Aside.) Here's my chance and may the Devil help me
through with it. (Aloud and measuredly.) Believe me, I do not care
how often or how tenderly you think of the Vaynor man.

MRS. H. I wonder if you mean that! Oh, what is the good of
squabbling and pretending to misunderstand when you are only up
for so short a time? Pip, don't be a stupid!

Follows a pause, during which he crosses his left leg over his right
and continues his dinner.

CAPT. G. (In answer to the thunderstorm in her eyes.) Corns-my
worst.

MRS. H. Upon my word, you are the very rudest man in the
world! I'll never do it again.

CAPT. G. (Aside.) No, I don't think you will; but I wonder what
you will do before it's all over. (To Khitmatgar.) Thorah ur
Simpkin do.

MRS. H. Well! Haven't you the grace to apologize, bad man?

CAPT. G. (Aside.) I mustn't let it drift back now. Trust a woman
for being as blind as a bat when she won't see.

MRS. H. I'm waiting; or would you like me to dictate a form of
apology?

CAPT. G. (Desperately.) By all means dictate.

MRS. H. (Lightly.) Very well. Rehearse your several Christian
names after me and go on: "Profess my sincere repentance."

CAPT. G. "Sincere repentance."

MRS. H. "For having behaved"-

CAPT. G. (Aside.) At last! I wish to Goodness she'd look away.
"For having behaved"-as I have behaved, and declare that I am
thoroughly and heartily sick of the whole business, and take this
opportunity of making clear my intention of ending it, now,
henceforward, and forever. (Aside.) If any one had told me I
should be such a blackguard!-

MRS. H. (Shaking a spoonful of potato chips into