Chapter 4 - Page 2

smoke through his
nose luxuriously.) We aren't going down the Mall, are we?

CAPT. M. (Aside.) They're all alike in these stages. (Aloud.) No,
my Vestal. We're going along the quietest road we can find.

CAPT. G. Any chance of seeing Her? CAPT. M. Innocent! No!
Come along, and, if you want me for the final obsequies, don't cut
my eye out with your stick.

CAPT. G. (Spinning round.) I say, isn't She the dearest creature
that ever walked? What's the time? What comes after "wilt thou
take this woman"?

CAPT. M. You go for the ring. R'clect it'll be on the top of my
right-hand little finger, and just be careful how you draw it off,
because I shall have the Verger's fees somewhere in my glove.

CAPT. G. (Walking forward hastily.) D- the Verger! Come along!
It's past twelve and I haven't seen Her since yesterday evening.
(Spinning round again.) She's an absolute angel, Jack, and She's a
dashed deal too good for me. Look here, does She come up the
aisle on my arm, or how?

CAPT. M. If I thought that there was the least chance of your
remembering anything for two consecutive minutes, I'd tell you.
Stop passaging about like that!

CAPT. G. (Halting in *he middle of the road.) I say, Jack.

CAPT. M. Keep quiet for another ten minutes if you can, you
lunatic; and walk!

The two tramp at five miles an hour for fifteen minutes.

CAPT. G. What's the time? How about the cursed wedding-cake
and the slippers? They don't throw 'em about in church, do they?

CAPT. M. In-variably. The Padre leads off with his boots.

CAPT. G. Confound your silly soul! Don't make fun of me. I can't
stand it, and I won't!

CAPT. M. (Untroubled.) So-ooo, old horse You'll have to sleep
for a couple of hours this afternoon.

CAPT. G. (Spinning round.) I'm not going to be treated like a
dashed child. understand that

CAPT. M. (Aside.) Nerves gone to fiddle-strings. What a day
we're having! (Tenderly putting his hand on G.'s shoulder.) My
David, how long have you known this Jonathan? Would I come up
here to make a fool of you-after all these years?

CAPT. G. (Penitently.) I know, I know, Jack-but I'm as upset as I
can be. Don't mind what I say. Just hear me run through the drill
and see if I've got it all right:-"To have and to hold for better or
worse, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world
without end, so help me God. Amen."

CAPT. M. (Suffocating with suppressed laughter.) Yes. That's
about the gist of it. I'll prompt if you get into a hat.

CAPT. G. (Earnestly.) Yes, you'll stick by me, Jack, won't you?
I'm awfully happy, but I don't mind telling you that I'm in a blue
funk!

CAPT. M.