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Chapter 19
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NEW YEAR'S THOUGHTS AND MEDITATIONS--AGAIN BOUGHT BY FREELAND--NO
AMBITION TO BE A SLAVE--KINDNESS NO COMPENSATION FOR SLAVERY--
INCIPIENT STEPS TOWARD ESCAPE--CONSIDERATIONS LEADING THERETO--
IRRECONCILABLE HOSTILITY TO SLAVERY--SOLEMN VOW TAKEN--PLAN
DIVULGED TO THE SLAVES--_Columbian Orator--_SCHEME GAINS FAVOR,
DESPITE PRO-SLAVERY PREACHING--DANGER OF DISCOVERY--SKILL OF
SLAVEHOLDERS IN READING THE MINDS OF THEIR SLAVES--SUSPICION AND
COERCION--HYMNS WITH DOUBLE MEANING--VALUE, IN DOLLARS, OF OUR
COMPANY--PRELIMINARY CONSULTATION--PASS-WORD--CONFLICTS OF HOPE
AND FEAR--DIFFICULTIES TO BE OVERCOME--IGNORANCE OF GEOGRAPHY--
SURVEY OF IMAGINARY DIFFICULTIES--EFFECT ON OUR MINDS--PATRICK
HENRY--SANDY BECOMES A DREAMER--ROUTE TO THE NORTH LAID OUT--
OBJECTIONS CONSIDERED--FRAUDS PRACTICED ON FREEMEN--PASSES
WRITTEN--ANXIETIES AS THE TIME DREW NEAR--DREAD OF FAILURE--
APPEALS TO COMRADES--STRANGE PRESENTIMENT--COINCIDENCE--THE
BETRAYAL DISCOVERED--THE MANNER OF ARRESTING US--RESISTANCE MADE
BY HENRY HARRIS--ITS EFFECT--THE UNIQUE SPEECH OF MRS. FREELAND--
OUR SAD PROCESSION TO PRISON--BRUTAL JEERS BY THE MULTITUDE ALONG
THE ROAD--PASSES EATEN--THE DENIAL--SANDY TOO WELL LOVED TO BE
SUSPECTED--DRAGGED BEHIND HORSES--THE JAIL A RELIEF--A NEW SET OF
TORMENTORS--SLAVE-TRADERS--JOHN, CHARLES AND HENRY RELEASED--
ALONE IN PRISON--I AM TAKEN OUT, AND SENT TO BALTIMORE.
I am now at the beginning of the year 1836, a time favorable for
serious thoughts. The mind naturally occupies itself with the
mysteries of life in all its phases--the ideal, the real and the
actual. Sober people look both ways at the beginning of the
year, surveying the errors of the past, and providing against
possible errors of the future. I, too, was thus exercised. I
had little pleasure in retrospect, and the prospect was not
very brilliant. "Notwithstanding," thought I, "the many
resolutions and prayers I have made, in behalf of freedom, I am,
this first day of the year 1836, still a slave, still wandering
in the depths of spirit-devouring thralldom. My faculties and
powers of body and soul are not my own, but are the property of a
fellow mortal, in no sense superior to me, except that he has the
physical power to compel me to be owned and controlled by him.
By the combined physical force of the community, I am his slave--
a slave for life." With thoughts like these, I was perplexed and
chafed; they rendered me gloomy and disconsolate. The anguish of
my mind may not be written.
At the close of the year 1835, Mr. Freeland, my temporary master,
had bought me of Capt. Thomas Auld, for the year 1836. His
promptness in securing my services, would have been flattering to
my vanity, had I been
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