Chapter 60 - Page 2

minor affairs,
Media called for certain witnesses to testify concerning one Jiromo,
a foolhardy wight, who had been silly enough to plot against the
majesty now sitting judge and jury upon him.

His guilt was clear. And the witnesses being heard, from a bunch of
palm plumes Media taking a leaf, placed it in the hand of a runner or
pursuivant, saying, "This to Jiromo, where he is prisoned; with his
king's compliments; say we here wait for his head."

It was doffed like a turban before a Dey, and brought back on the
instant.

Now came certain lean-visaged, poverty-stricken, and hence
suspicious-looking varlets, grumbling and growling, and amiable as
Bruin. They came muttering some wild jargon about "bulwarks,"
"bulkheads," "cofferdams," "safeguards," "noble charters," "shields,"
and "paladiums," "great and glorious birthrights," and other
unintelligible gibberish.

Of the pursuivants, these worthies asked audience of Media.

"Go, kneel at the throne," was the answer.

"Our knee-pans are stiff with sciatics," was the rheumatic reply.

"An artifice to keep on your legs," said the pursuivants.

And advancing they salamed, and told Media the excuse of those sour-
looking varlets. Whereupon my lord commanded them to down on their
marrow-bones instanter, either before him or the headsman,
whichsoever they pleased.

They preferred the former. And as they there kneeled, in vain did men
with sharp ears (who abound in all courts) prick their auriculars, to
list to that strange crackling and firing off of bone balls and
sockets, ever incident to the genuflections of rheumatic courtiers.

In a row, then, these selfsame knee-pans did kneel before the king;
who eyed them as eagles in air do goslings on dunghills; or hunters,
hounds crouching round their calves.

"Your prayer?" said Media.

It was a petition, that thereafter all differences between man and
man in Ode, together with all alleged offenses against the state,
might be tried by twelve good men and true. These twelve to be
unobnoxious to the party or parties concerned; their peers; and
previously unbiased touching the matter at issue. Furthermore, that
unanimity in these twelve should be indispensable to a verdict; and
no dinner be vouchsafed till unanimity came.

Loud and long laughed King Media in scorn.

"This be your judge," he cried, swaying his scepter. "What! are
twelve wise men more wise than one? or will twelve fools, put
together, make one sage? Are twelve honest men more honest than one?
or twelve knaves less knavish than one? And if, of twelve