Chapter 12 - Page 2

seen such
effects produced upon some of the crew; yet, in the present
instance, I knew better than that;--it was solely brought about
by his consorting with with those villainous, irritable, ill-
tempered cannon; more especially from his being subject to the
orders of those deformed blunderbusses, Priming and Cylinder.

The truth seems to be, indeed, that all people should be very careful
in selecting their callings and vocations; very careful in seeing to
it, that they surround themselves by good-humoured, pleasant-looking
objects; and agreeable, temper-soothing sounds. Many an angelic
disposition has had its even edge turned, and hacked like a saw;
and many a sweet draught of piety has soured on the heart from
people's choosing ill-natured employments, and omitting to gather
round them good-natured landscapes. Gardeners are almost always
pleasant, affable people to con-verse with; but beware of
quarter-gunners, keepers of arsenals, and lonely light-house men.

It would be advisable for any man, who from an unlucky choice of a
profession, which it is too late to change for another, should find
his temper souring, to endeavour to counteract that misfortune, by
filling his private chamber with amiable, pleasurable sights and sounds.
In summer time, an Aeolian harp can be placed in your window at a very
trifling expense; a conch-shell might stand on your mantel, to be taken
up and held to the ear, that you may be soothed by its continual
lulling sound, when you feel the blue fit stealing over you. For sights,
a gay-painted punch-bowl, or Dutch tankard--never mind about filling
it--might be recommended. It should be placed on a bracket in the pier.
Nor is an old-fashioned silver ladle, nor a chased dinner-castor, nor
a fine portly demijohn, nor anything, indeed, that savors of eating and
drinking, bad to drive off the spleen. But perhaps the best of all is a
shelf of merrily-bound books, containing comedies, farces, songs, and
humorous novels. You need never open them; only have the titles in plain
sight. For this purpose, Peregrine Pickle is a good book; so is Gil Blas;
so is Goldsmith.

But of all chamber furniture in the world, best calculated to cure a had
temper, and breed a pleasant one, is the sight of a lovely wife. If you
have children, however, that are teething, the nursery should be a good
way up stairs; at sea, it ought to be in the mizzen-top. Indeed,
teething children play the very deuce with a husband's temper. I have
known three promising young husbands completely spoil on their wives'
hands, by reason of a teething child, whose worrisomeness happened to be
aggravated at the time by the summer-complaint. With a breaking heart,
and my handkerchief to my eyes, I followed those