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    Book 5 - Chapter 5

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    Chapter 37
    Previous Chapter
    The Cloven Tree

    Secrets are rarely betrayed or discovered according to any programme
    our fear has sketched out. Fear is almost always haunted by terrible
    dramatic scenes, which recur in spite of the best-argued probabilities
    against them; and during a year that Maggie had had the burthen of
    concealment on her mind, the possibility of discovery had continually
    presented itself under the form of a sudden meeting with her father or
    Tom when she was walking with Philip in the Red Deeps. She was aware
    that this was not one of the most likely events; but it was the scene
    that most completely symbolized her inward dread. Those slight
    indirect suggestions which are dependent on apparently trivial
    coincidences and incalculable states of mind, are the favorite
    machinery of Fact, but are not the stuff in which Imagination is apt
    to work.

    Certainly one of the persons about whom Maggie's fears were furthest
    from troubling themselves was her aunt Pullet, on whom, seeing that
    she did not live in St. Ogg's, and was neither sharp-eyed nor
    sharp-tempered, it would surely have been quite whimsical of them to
    fix rather than on aunt Glegg. And yet the channel of fatality--the
    pathway of the lightning--was no other than aunt Pullet. She did not
    live at St. Ogg's, but the road from Garum Firs lay by the Red Deeps,
    at the end opposite that by which Maggie entered.

    The day after Maggie's last meeting with Philip, being a Sunday on
    which Mr. Pullet was bound to appear in funeral hatband and scarf at
    St. Ogg's church, Mrs. Pullet made this the occasion of dining with
    sister Glegg, and taking tea with poor sister Tulliver. Sunday was the
    one day in the week on which Tom was at home in the afternoon; and
    today the brighter spirits he had been in of late had flowed over in
    unusually cheerful open chat with his father, and in the invitation,
    "Come, Magsie, you come too!" when he strolled out with his mother in
    the garden to see the advancing cherry-blossoms. He had been better
    pleased with Maggie since she had been less odd and ascetic; he was
    even getting rather proud of her; several persons had remarked in his
    hearing that his sister was a very fine girl. To-day there was a
    peculiar brightness in her face, due in reality to an undercurrent of
    excitement, which had as much doubt and pain as pleasure in it; but it
    might pass for a sign of happiness.

    "You look very well, my dear," said aunt Pullet, shaking her head
    sadly, as they sat round the tea-table. "I niver thought your girl 'ud
    be so good-looking, Bessy. But you must wear pink, my dear; that blue
    thing as your aunt Glegg gave you turns you into a crowflower. Jane
    never _was_ tasty. Why don't you wear that gown o' mine?"

    "It is so pretty and so smart, aunt. I think it's too showy for
    me,--at least for my other clothes, that I must wear with it.

    "To be sure, it 'ud be unbecoming if it wasn't well known you've got
    them belonging to you as can afford to give you such things when
    they've done with 'em themselves. It stands to reason I must give my
    own niece clothes now and then,--such things as _I_ buy every year,
    and never wear anything out. And as for Lucy, there's no giving to
    her, for she's got everything o' the choicest; sister Deane may well
    hold her head up,--though she looks dreadful yallow, poor thing--I
    doubt this liver complaint 'ull carry her off. That's what this new
    vicar, this Dr. Kenn, said in the funeral sermon to-day."

    "Ah, he's a wonderful preacher, by all account,--isn't he, Sophy?"
    said Mrs. Tulliver.

    "Why, Lucy had got a collar on this blessed day," continued Mrs.
    Pullet, with her eyes fixed in a ruminating manner, "as I don't say I
    haven't got as good, but I must look out my best to match it."

    "Miss Lucy's called the bell o' St. Ogg's, they say; that's a cur'ous
    word," observed Mr. Pullet, on whom the mysteries of etymology
    sometimes fell with an oppressive weight.

    "Pooh!" said Mr. Tulliver, jealous for Maggie, "she's a small thing,
    not much of a figure. But fine feathers make fine birds. I see nothing
    to admire so much in those diminutive women; they look silly by the
    side o' the men,--out o' proportion. When I chose my wife, I chose her
    the right size,--neither too little nor too big."

    The poor wife, with her withered beauty, smiled complacently.

    "But the men aren't _all_ big," said uncle Pullet, not without some
    self-reference; "a young fellow may be good-looking and yet not be a
    six-foot, like Master Tom here.

    "Ah, it's poor talking about littleness and bigness,--anybody may
    think it's a mercy they're straight," said aunt Pullet. "There's that
    mismade son o' Lawyer Wakem's, I saw him at church to-day. Dear, dear!
    to think o' the property he's like to have; and they say he's very
    queer and lonely, doesn't like much company. I shouldn't wonder if he
    goes out of his mind; for we never come along the road but he's
    a-scrambling out o' the trees and brambles at the Red Deeps."

    This wide statement, by which Mrs. Pullet represented the fact that
    she had twice seen Philip at the spot indicated, produced an effect on
    Maggie which was all the stronger because Tom sate opposite her, and
    she was intensely anxious to look indifferent. At Philip's name she
    had blushed, and the blush deepened every instant from consciousness,
    until the mention of the Red Deeps made her feel as if the whole
    secret were betrayed, and she dared not even hold her tea-spoon lest
    she should show how she trembled. She sat with her hands clasped under
    the table, not daring to look round. Happily, her father was seated on
    the same side with herself, beyond her uncle Pullet, and could not see
    her face without stooping forward. Her mother's voice brought the
    first relief, turning the conversation; for Mrs. Tulliver was always
    alarmed when the name of Wakem was mentioned in her husband's
    presence. Gradually Maggie recovered composure enough to look up; her
    eyes met Tom's, but he turned away his head immediately; and she went
    to bed that night wondering if he had gathered any suspicion from her
    confusion. Perhaps not; perhaps he would think it was only her alarm
    at her aunt's mention of Wakem before her father; that was the
    interpretation her mother had put in it. To her father, Wakem was like
    a disfiguring disease, of which he was obliged to endure the
    consciousness, but was exasperated to have the existence recognized by
    others; and no amount of sensitiveness in her about her father could
    be surprising, Maggie thought.

    But Tom was too keen-sighted to rest satisfied with such an
    interpretation; he had seen clearly enough that there was something
    distinct from anxiety about her father in Maggie's excessive
    confusion. In trying to recall all the details that could give shape
    to his suspicions, he remembered only lately hearing his mother scold
    Maggie for walking in the Red Deeps when the ground was wet, and
    bringing home shoes clogged with red soil; still Tom, retaining all
    his old repulsion for Philip's deformity, shrank from attributing to
    his sister the probability of feeling more than a friendly interest in
    such an unfortunate exception to the common run of men. Tom's was a
    nature which had a sort of superstitious repugnance to everything
    exceptional. A love for a deformed man would be odious in any woman,
    in a sister intolerable. But if she had been carrying on any kind of
    intercourse whatever with Philip, a stop must be put to it at once;
    she was disobeying her father's strongest feelings and her brother's
    express commands, besides compromising herself by secret meetings. He
    left home the next morning in that watchful state of mind which turns
    the most ordinary course of things into pregnant coincidences.

    That afternoon, about half-past three o'clock, Tom was standing on the
    wharf, talking with Bob Jakin about the probability of the good ship
    Adelaide coming in, in a day or two, with results highly important to
    both of them.

    "Eh," said Bob, parenthetically, as he looked over the fields on the
    other side of the river, "there goes that crooked young Wakem. I know
    him or his shadder as far off as I can see 'em; I'm allays lighting on
    him o' that side the river."

    A sudden thought seemed to have darted through Tom's mind. "I must go,
    Bob," he said; "I've something to attend to," hurrying off to the
    warehouse, where he left notice for some one to take his place; he was
    called away home on peremptory business.

    The swiftest pace and the shortest road took him to the gate, and he
    was pausing to open it deliberately, that he might walk into the house
    with an appearance of perfect composure, when Maggie came out at the
    front door in bonnet and shawl. His conjecture was fulfilled, and he
    waited for her at the gate. She started violently when she saw him.

    "Tom, how is it you are come home? Is there anything the matter?"
    Maggie spoke in a low, tremulous voice.

    "I'm come to walk with you to the Red Deeps, and meet Philip Wakem,"
    said Tom, the central fold in his brow, which had become habitual with
    him, deepening as he spoke.

    Maggie stood helpless, pale and cold. By some means, then, Tom knew
    everything. At last she said, "I'm, not going," and turned round.

    "Yes, you are; but I want to speak to you first. Where is my father?"

    "Out on horseback."

    "And my mother?"

    "In the yard, I think, with the poultry."

    "I can go in, then, without her seeing me?"

    They walked in together, and Tom, entering the parlor, said to Maggie,
    "Come in here."

    She obeyed, and he closed the door behind her.

    "Now, Maggie, tell me this instant everything that has passed between
    you and Philip Wakem."

    "Does my father know anything?" said Maggie, still trembling.

    "No," said Tom indignantly. "But he _shall_ know, if you attempt to
    use deceit toward me any further."

    "I don't wish to use deceit," said Maggie, flushing into resentment at
    hearing this word applied to her conduct.

    "Tell me the whole truth, then."

    "Perhaps you know it."

    "Never mind whether I know it or not. Tell me exactly what has
    happened, or my father shall know everything."

    "I tell it for my father's sake, then."

    "Yes, it becomes you to profess affection for your father, when you
    have despised his strongest feelings."

    "You never do wrong, Tom," said Maggie, tauntingly.

    "Not if I know it," answered Tom, with proud sincerity.

    "But I have nothing to say to you beyond this: tell me what has passed
    between you and Philip Wakem. When did you first meet him in the Red
    Deeps?"

    "A year ago," said Maggie, quietly. Tom's severity gave her a certain
    fund of defiance, and kept her sense of error in abeyance. "You need
    ask me no more questions. We have been friendly a year. We have met
    and walked together often. He has lent me books."

    "Is that all?" said Tom, looking straight at her with his frown.

    Maggie paused a moment; then, determined to make an end of Tom's right
    to accuse her of deceit, she said haughtily:

    "No, not quite all. On Saturday he told me that he loved me. I didn't
    think of it before then; I had only thought of him as an old friend."

    "And you _encouraged_ him?" said Tom, with an expression of disgust.

    "I told him that I loved him too."

    Tom was silent a few moments, looking on the ground and frowning, with
    his hands in his pockets. At last he looked up and said coldly,--

    "Now, then, Maggie, there are but two courses for you to take,--either
    you vow solemnly to me, with your hand on my father's Bible, that you
    will never have another meeting or speak another word in private with
    Philip Wakem, or you refuse, and I tell my father everything; and this
    month, when by my exertions he might be made happy once more, you will
    cause him the blow of knowing that you are a disobedient, deceitful
    daughter, who throws away her own respectability by clandestine
    meetings with the son of a man that has helped to ruin her father.
    Choose!" Tom ended with cold decision, going up to the large Bible,
    drawing it forward, and opening it at the fly-leaf, where the writing
    was.

    It was a crushing alternative to Maggie.

    "Tom," she said, urged out of pride into pleading, "don't ask me that.
    I will promise you to give up all intercourse with Philip, if you will
    let me see him once, or even only write to him and explain
    everything,--to give it up as long as it would ever cause any pain to
    my father. I feel something for Philip too. _He_ is not happy."

    "I don't wish to hear anything of your feelings; I have said exactly
    what I mean. Choose, and quickly, lest my mother should come in."

    "If I give you my word, that will be as strong a bond to me as if I
    laid my hand on the Bible. I don't require that to bind me."

    "Do what _I_ require," said Tom. "I can't trust you, Maggie. There is
    no consistency in you. Put your hand on this Bible, and say, 'I
    renounce all private speech and intercourse with Philip Wakem from
    this time forth.' Else you will bring shame on us all, and grief on my
    father; and what is the use of my exerting myself and giving up
    everything else for the sake of paying my father's debts, if you are
    to bring madness and vexation on him, just when he might be easy and
    hold up his head once more?"

    "Oh, Tom, _will_ the debts be paid soon?" said Maggie, clasping her
    hands, with a sudden flash of joy across her wretchedness.

    "If things turn out as I expect," said Tom. "But," he added, his voice
    trembling with indignation, "while I have been contriving and working
    that my father may have some peace of mind before he dies,--working
    for the respectability of our family,--you have done all you can to
    destroy both."

    Maggie felt a deep movement of compunction; for the moment, her mind
    ceased to contend against what she felt to be cruel and unreasonable,
    and in her self-blame she justified her brother.

    "Tom," she said in a low voice, "it was wrong of me; but I was so
    lonely, and I was sorry for Philip. And I think enmity and hatred are
    wicked."

    "Nonsense!" said Tom. "Your duty was clear enough. Say no more; but
    promise, in the words I told you."

    "I _must_ speak to Philip once more."

    "You will go with me now and speak to him."

    "I give you my word not to meet him or write to him again without your
    knowledge. That is the only thing I will say. I will put my hand on
    the Bible if you like."

    "Say it, then."

    Maggie laid her hand on the page of manuscript and repeated the
    promise. Tom closed the book, and said, "Now let us go."

    Not a word was spoken as they walked along. Maggie was suffering in
    anticipation of what Philip was about to suffer, and dreading the
    galling words that would fall on him from Tom's lips; but she felt it
    was in vain to attempt anything but submission. Tom had his terrible
    clutch on her conscience and her deepest dread; she writhed under the
    demonstrable truth of the character he had given to her conduct, and
    yet her whole soul rebelled against it as unfair from its
    incompleteness. He, meanwhile, felt the impetus of his indignation
    diverted toward Philip. He did not know how much of an old boyish
    repulsion and of mere personal pride and animosity was concerned in
    the bitter severity of the words by which he meant to do the duty of a
    son and a brother. Tom was not given to inquire subtly into his own
    motives any more than into other matters of an intangible kind; he was
    quite sure that his own motives as well as actions were good, else he
    would have had nothing to do with them.

    Maggie's only hope was that something might, for the first time, have
    prevented Philip from coming. Then there would be delay,--then she
    might get Tom's permission to write to him. Her heart beat with double
    violence when they got under the Scotch firs. It was the last moment
    of suspense, she thought; Philip always met her soon after she got
    beyond them. But they passed across the more open green space, and
    entered the narrow bushy path by the mound. Another turning, and they
    came so close upon him that both Tom and Philip stopped suddenly
    within a yard of each other. There was a moment's silence, in which
    Philip darted a look of inquiry at Maggie's face. He saw an answer
    there, in the pale, parted lips, and the terrified tension of the
    large eyes. Her imagination, always rushing extravagantly beyond an
    immediate impression, saw her tall, strong brother grasping the feeble
    Philip bodily, crushing him and trampling on him.

    "Do you call this acting the part of a man and a gentleman, sir?" Tom
    said, in a voice of harsh scorn, as soon as Philip's eyes were turned
    on him again.

    "What do you mean?" answered Philip, haughtily.

    "Mean? Stand farther from me, lest I should lay hands on you, and I'll
    tell you what I mean. I mean, taking advantage of a young girl's
    foolishness and ignorance to get her to have secret meetings with you.
    I mean, daring to trifle with the respectability of a family that has
    a good and honest name to support."

    "I deny that," interrupted Philip, impetuously. "I could never trifle
    with anything that affected your sister's happiness. She is dearer to
    me than she is to you; I honor her more than you can ever honor her; I
    would give up my life to her."

    "Don't talk high-flown nonsense to me, sir! Do you mean to pretend
    that you didn't know it would be injurious to her to meet you here
    week after week? Do you pretend you had any right to make professions
    of love to her, even if you had been a fit husband for her, when
    neither her father nor your father would ever consent to a marriage
    between you? And _you_,--_you_ to try and worm yourself into the
    affections of a handsome girl who is not eighteen, and has been shut
    out from the world by her father's misfortunes! That's your crooked
    notion of honor, is it? I call it base treachery; I call it taking
    advantage of circumstances to win what's too good for you,--what you'd
    never get by fair means."

    "It is manly of you to talk in this way to _me_," said Philip,
    bitterly, his whole frame shaken by violent emotions. "Giants have an
    immemorial right to stupidity and insolent abuse. You are incapable
    even of understanding what I feel for your sister. I feel so much for
    her that I could even desire to be at friendship with _you_."

    "I should be very sorry to understand your feelings," said Tom, with
    scorching contempt. "What I wish is that you should understand
    _me_,--that I shall take care of _my_ sister, and that if you dare to
    make the least attempt to come near her, or to write to her, or to
    keep the slightest hold on her mind, your puny, miserable body, that
    ought to have put some modesty into your mind, shall not protect you.
    I'll thrash you; I'll hold you up to public scorn. Who wouldn't laugh
    at the idea of _your_ turning lover to a fine girl?"

    Tom and Maggie walked on in silence for some yards. He burst out, in a
    convulsed voice.

    "Stay, Maggie!" said Philip, making a strong effort to speak. Then
    looking at Tom, "You have dragged your sister here, I suppose, that
    she may stand by while you threaten and insult me. These naturally
    seemed to you the right means to influence me. But you are mistaken.
    Let your sister speak. If she says she is bound to give me up, I shall
    abide by her wishes to the slightest word."

    "It was for my father's sake, Philip," said Maggie, imploringly. "Tom
    threatens to tell my father, and he couldn't bear it; I have promised,
    I have vowed solemnly, that we will not have any intercourse without
    my brother's knowledge."

    "It is enough, Maggie. _I_ shall not change; but I wish you to hold
    yourself entirely free. But trust me; remember that I can never seek
    for anything but good to what belongs to you."

    "Yes," said Tom, exasperated by this attitude of Philip's, "you can
    talk of seeking good for her and what belongs to her now; did you seek
    her good before?"

    "I did,--at some risk, perhaps. But I wished her to have a friend for
    life,--who would cherish her, who would do her more justice than a
    coarse and narrow-minded brother, that she has always lavished her
    affections on."

    "Yes, my way of befriending her is different from yours; and I'll tell
    you what is my way. I'll save her from disobeying and disgracing her
    father; I'll save her from throwing herself away on you,--from making
    herself a laughing-stock,--from being flouted by a man like _your_
    father, because she's not good enough for his son. You know well
    enough what sort of justice and cherishing you were preparing for her.
    I'm not to be imposed upon by fine words; I can see what actions mean.
    Come away, Maggie."

    He seized Maggie's right wrist as he spoke, and she put out her left
    hand. Philip clasped it an instant, with one eager look, and then
    hurried away.

    Tom and Maggie walked on in silence for some yards. He was still
    holding her wrist tightly, as if he were compelling a culprit from the
    scene of action. At last Maggie, with a violent snatch, drew her hand
    away, and her pent-up, long-gathered irritation burst into utterance.

    "Don't suppose that I think you are right, Tom, or that I bow to your
    will. I despise the feelings you have shown in speaking to Philip; I
    detest your insulting, unmanly allusions to his deformity. You have
    been reproaching other people all your life; you have been always sure
    you yourself are right. It is because you have not a mind large enough
    to see that there is anything better than your own conduct and your
    own petty aims."

    "Certainly," said Tom, coolly. "I don't see that your conduct is
    better, or your aims either. If your conduct, and Philip Wakem's
    conduct, has been right, why are you ashamed of its being known?
    Answer me that. I know what I have aimed at in my conduct, and I've
    succeeded; pray, what good has your conduct brought to you or any one
    else?"

    "I don't want to defend myself," said Maggie, still with vehemence: "I
    know I've been wrong,--often, continually. But yet, sometimes when I
    have done wrong, it has been because I have feelings that you would be
    the better for, if you had them. If _you_ were in fault ever, if you
    had done anything very wrong, I should be sorry for the pain it
    brought you; I should not want punishment to be heaped on you. But you
    have always enjoyed punishing me; you have always been hard and cruel
    to me; even when I was a little girl, and always loved you better than
    any one else in the world, you would let me go crying to bed without
    forgiving me. You have no pity; you have no sense of your own
    imperfection and your own sins. It is a sin to be hard; it is not
    fitting for a mortal, for a Christian. You are nothing but a Pharisee.
    You thank God for nothing but your own virtues; you think they are
    great enough to win you everything else. You have not even a vision of
    feelings by the side of which your shining virtues are mere darkness!"

    "Well," said Tom, with cold scorn, "if your feelings are so much
    better than mine, let me see you show them in some other way than by
    conduct that's likely to disgrace us all,--than by ridiculous flights
    first into one extreme and then into another. Pray, how have you shown
    your love, that you talk of, either to me or my father? By disobeying
    and deceiving us. I have a different way of showing my affection."

    "Because you are a man, Tom, and have power, and can do something in
    the world."

    "Then, if you can do nothing, submit to those that can."

    "So I _will_ submit to what I acknowledge and feel to be right. I will
    submit even to what is unreasonable from my father, but I will not
    submit to it from you. You boast of your virtues as if they purchased
    you a right to be cruel and unmanly, as you've been to-day. Don't
    suppose I would give up Philip Wakem in obedience to you. The
    deformity you insult would make me cling to him and care for him the
    more."

    "Very well; that is your view of things." said Tom, more coldly than
    ever; "you need say no more to show me what a wide distance there is
    between us. Let us remember that in future, and be silent."

    Tom went back to St. Ogg's, to fulfill an appointment with his uncle
    Deane, and receive directions about a journey on which he was to set
    out the next morning.

    Maggie went up to her own room to pour out all that indignant
    remonstrance, against which Tom's mind was close barred, in bitter
    tears. Then, when the first burst of unsatisfied anger was gone by,
    came the recollection of that quiet time before the pleasure which had
    ended in to-day's misery had perturbed the clearness and simplicity of
    her life. She used to think in that time that she had made great
    conquests, and won a lasting stand on serene heights above worldly
    temptations and conflict. And here she was down again in the thick of
    a hot strife with her own and others' passions. Life was not so short,
    then, and perfect rest was not so near as she had dreamed when she was
    two years younger. There was more struggle for her, and perhaps more
    falling. If she had felt that she was entirely wrong, and that Tom had
    been entirely right, she could sooner have recovered more inward
    harmony; but now her penitence and submission were constantly
    obstructed by resentment that would present itself to her no otherwise
    than as a just indignation. Her heart bled for Philip; she went on
    recalling the insults that had been flung at him with so vivid a
    conception of what he had felt under them, that it was almost like a
    sharp bodily pain to her, making her beat the floor with her foot and
    tighten her fingers on her palm.

    And yet, how was it that she was now and then conscious of a certain
    dim background of relief in the forced separation from Philip? Surely
    it was only because the sense of a deliverance from concealment was
    welcome at any cost.
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