Book 6 - Chapter 3

Confidential Moments

When Maggie went up to her bedroom that night, it appeared that she
was not at all inclined to undress. She set down her candle on the
first table that presented itself, and began to walk up and down her
room, which was a large one, with a firm, regular, and rather rapid
step, which showed that the exercise was the instinctive vent of
strong excitement. Her eyes and cheeks had an almost feverish
brilliancy; her head was thrown backward, and her hands were clasped
with the palms outward, and with that tension of the arms which is apt
to accompany mental absorption.

Had anything remarkable happened?

Nothing that you are not likely to consider in the highest degree
unimportant. She had been hearing some fine music sung by a fine bass
voice,--but then it was sung in a provincial, amateur fashion, such as
would have left a critical ear much to desire. And she was conscious
of having been looked at a great deal, in rather a furtive manner,
from beneath a pair of well-marked horizontal eyebrows, with a glance
that seemed somehow to have caught the vibratory influence of the
voice. Such things could have had no perceptible effect on a
thoroughly well-educated young lady, with a perfectly balanced mind,
who had had all the advantages of fortune, training, and refined
society. But if Maggie had been that young lady, you would probably
have known nothing about her: her life would have had so few
vicissitudes that it could hardly have been written; for the happiest
women, like the happiest nations, have no history.

In poor Maggie's highly-strung, hungry nature,--just come away from a
third-rate schoolroom, with all its jarring sounds and petty round of
tasks,--these apparently trivial causes had the effect of rousing and
exalting her imagination in a way that was mysterious to herself. It
was not that she thought distinctly of Mr. Stephen Guest, or dwelt on
the indications that he looked at her with admiration; it was rather
that she felt the half-remote presence of a world of love and beauty
and delight, made up of vague, mingled images from all the poetry and
romance she had ever read, or had ever woven in her dreamy reveries.
Her mind glanced back once or twice to the time when she had courted
privation, when she had thought all longing, all impatience was
subdued; but that condition seemed irrecoverably gone, and she
recoiled from the remembrance of it. No prayer, no striving now, would
bring back that negative peace; the battle of her life, it seemed, was
not to be decided in that short and easy way,--by perfect renunciation
at the very threshold of her youth.

The music was vibrating in her still,--Purcell's music, with its wild
passion and fancy,--and she