Act I - Page 2

rises, exalted by his theme.]
A king is a splendid reality, a man raised above us like a god.
You can see him; you can kiss his hand; you can be cheered by his
smile and terrified by his frown. I would have died for my
Panjandrum as my father died for his father. Your toiling
millions were only too honored to receive the toes of our boots
in the proper spot for them when they displeased their betters.
And now what is left in life for me? [He relapses into his chair
discouraged.] My Panjandrum is deposed and transported to herd
with convicts. The army, his pride and glory, is paraded to hear
seditious speeches from penniless rebels, with the colonel
actually forced to take the chair and introduce the speaker. I
myself am made Commander-in-Chief by my own solicitor: a Jew,
Schneidekind! a Hebrew Jew! It seems only yesterday that these
things would have been the ravings of a madman: today they are
the commonplaces of the gutter press. I live now for three
objects only: to defeat the enemy, to restore the Panjandrum, and
to hang my solicitor.

SCHNEIDEKIND. Be careful, sir: these are dangerous views to utter
nowadays. What if I were to betray you?

STRAMMFEST. What!

SCHNEIDEKIND. I won't, of course: my own father goes on just like
that; but suppose I did?

STRAMMFEST [chuckling]. I should accuse you of treason to the
Revolution, my lad; and they would immediately shoot you, unless
you cried and asked to see your mother before you died, when they
would probably change their minds and make you a brigadier.
Enough. [He rises and expands his chest.] I feel the better for
letting myself go. To business. [He takes up a telegram: opens
it: and is thunderstruck by its contents.] Great heaven! [He
collapses into his chair. This is the worst blow of all.

SCHNEIDEKIND. What has happened? Are we beaten?

STRAMMFEST. Man, do you think that a mere defeat could strike me
down as this news does: I, who have been defeated thirteen times
since the war began? O, my master, my master, my Panjandrum! [he
is convulsed with sobs.]

SCHNEIDEKIND. They have killed him?

STRAMMFEST. A dagger has been struck through his heart--

SCHNEIDEKIND. Good God!

STRAMMFEST. --and through mine, through mine.

SCHNEIDEKIND [relieved]. Oh, a metaphorical dagger! I thought you
meant a real one. What has happened?

STRAMMFEST. His daughter the Grand Duchess Annajanska, she whom
the Panjandrina loved beyond all her other children, has--has--
[he cannot finish.]

SCHNEIDEKIND. Committed suicide?

STRAMMFEST. No. Better if she had. Oh, far far better.

SCHNEIDEKIND [in hushed tones]. Left the Church?

STRAMMFEST [shocked]. Certainly not. Do not