Act II - Page 2

value
of your thousand pound car. [He sits down calmly].

TANNER. I am the slave of that car and of you too. I dream of the
accursed thing at night.

THE CHAUFFEUR. You'll get over that. If you're going up to the house,
may I ask how long you're goin to stay there? Because if you mean to
put in the whole morning talkin to the ladies, I'll put the car in the
stables and make myself comfortable. If not, I'll keep the car on the go
about here til you come.

TANNER. Better wait here. We shan't be long. There's a young American
gentleman, a Mr Malone, who is driving Mr Robinson down in his new
American steam car.

THE CHAUFFEUR. [springing up and coming hastily out of the car to
Tanner] American steam car! Wot! racin us down from London!

TANNER. Perhaps they're here already.

THE CHAUFFEUR. If I'd known it! [with deep reproach] Why didn't you tell
me, Mr Tanner?

TANNER. Because I've been told that this car is capable of 84 miles an
hour; and I already know what YOU are capable of when there is a rival
car on the road. No, Henry: there are things it is not good for you to
know; and this was one of them. However, cheer up: we are going to have
a day after your own heart. The American is to take Mr Robinson and his
sister and Miss Whitefield. We are to take Miss Rhoda.

THE CHAUFFEUR. [consoled, and musing on another matter] That's Miss
Whitefield's sister, isn't it?

TANNER. Yes.

THE CHAUFFEUR. And Miss Whitefield herself is goin in the other car? Not
with you?

TANNER. Why the devil should she come with me? Mr Robinson will be in
the other car. [The Chauffeur looks at Tanner with cool incredulity, and
turns to the car, whistling a popular air softly to himself. Tanner,
a little annoyed, is about to pursue the subject when he hears the
footsteps of Octavius on the gravel. Octavius is coming from the house,
dressed for motoring, but without his overcoat]. We've lost the race,
thank Heaven: here's Mr Robinson. Well, Tavy, is the steam car a
success?

OCTAVIUS. I think so. We came from Hyde Park Corner here in seventeen
minutes. [The Chauffeur, furious, kicks the car with a groan of
vexation]. How long were you?

TANNER. Oh, about three quarters of an hour or so.

THE CHAUFFEUR. [remonstrating] Now, now, Mr Tanner, come now! We could
ha done it easy under fifteen.

TANNER. By the way, let me introduce you. Mr Octavius Robinson: Mr Enry
Straker.

STRAKER. Pleased to meet you, sir. Mr Tanner is gittin at you with his
Enry Straker, you know. You call it Henery. But I don't mind, bless you.

TANNER. You think it's simply bad taste in me to chaff him, Tavy. But
you're wrong. This man takes more trouble to drop his