Act I - Page 2

fireplace, is the door. On its left is
the writing-table at which Redpenny sits. It is an untidy table
with a microscope, several test tubes, and a spirit lamp standing
up through its litter of papers. There is a couch in the middle
of the room, at right angles to the console, and parallel to the
fireplace. A chair stands between the couch and the windowed
wall. The windows have green Venetian blinds and rep curtains;
and there is a gasalier; but it is a convert to electric
lighting. The wall paper and carpets are mostly green, coeval
with the gasalier and the Venetian blinds. The house, in fact,
was so well furnished in the middle of the XIXth century that it
stands unaltered to this day and is still quite presentable.
**

EMMY [entering and immediately beginning to dust the couch]
Theres a lady bothering me to see the doctor.

REDPENNY [distracted by the interruption] Well, she cant see the
doctor. Look here: whats the use of telling you that the doctor
cant take any new patients, when the moment a knock comes to the
door, in you bounce to ask whether he can see somebody?

EMMY. Who asked you whether he could see somebody?

REDPENNY. You did.

EMMY. I said theres a lady bothering me to see the doctor. That
isnt asking. Its telling.

REDPENNY. Well, is the lady bothering you any reason for you to
come bothering me when I'm busy?

EMMY. Have you seen the papers?

REDPENNY. No.

EMMY. Not seen the birthday honors?

REDPENNY [beginning to swear] What the--

EMMY. Now, now, ducky!

REDPENNY. What do you suppose I care about the birthday honors?
Get out of this with your chattering. Dr Ridgeon will be down
before I have these letters ready. Get out.

EMMY. Dr Ridgeon wont never be down any more, young man.

She detects dust on the console and is down on it immediately.

REDPENNY [jumping up and following her] What?

EMMY. He's been made a knight. Mind you dont go Dr Ridgeoning him
in them letters. Sir Colenso Ridgeon is to be his name now.

REDPENNY. I'm jolly glad.

EMMY. I never was so taken aback. I always thought his great
discoveries was fudge (let alone the mess of them) with his drops
of blood and tubes full of Maltese fever and the like. Now he'll
have a rare laugh at me.

REDPENNY. Serve you right! It was like your cheek to talk to him
about science. [He returns to his table and resumes his writing].

EMMY. Oh, I dont think much of science; and neither will you when
youve lived as long with it as I have. Whats on my mind is
answering the door. Old Sir Patrick Cullen has been here already
and left first congratulations--hadnt time to come up on his way
to the hospital, but