Prologue - Page 2

disconsolately on
the top step. A fashionably dressed lady comes through the
curtains and contemplates him with patient obstinacy. He
continues, grumbling.] An English clergyman's daughter should be
able to live quite respectably and comfortably on an allowance of
œ150 a year, wrung with great difficulty from the domestic
budget.

ERMYNTRUDE. You are not a common clergyman: you are an
archdeacon.

THE ARCHDEACON [angrily]. That does not affect my emoluments to
the extent of enabling me to support a daughter whose
extravagance would disgrace a royal personage. [Scrambling to his
feet and scolding at her.] What do you mean by it, Miss?

ERMYNTRUDE. Oh really, father! Miss! Is that the way to talk to a
widow?

THE ARCHDEACON. Is that the way to talk to a father? Your
marriage was a most disastrous imprudence. It gave you habits
that are absolutely beyond your means--I mean beyond my means:
you have no means. Why did you not marry Matthews: the best
curate I ever had?

ERMYNTRUDE. I wanted to; and you wouldn't let me. You insisted on
my marrying Roosenhonkers-Pipstein.

THE ARCHDEACON. I had to do the best for you, my child.
Roosenhonkers-Pipstein was a millionaire.

ERMYNTRUDE. How did you know he was a millionaire?

THE ARCHDEACON. He came from America. Of course he was a
millionaire. Besides, he proved to my solicitors that he had
fifteen million dollars when you married him.

ERYNTRUDE. His solicitors proved to me that he had sixteen
millions when he died. He was a millionaire to the last.

THE ARCHDEACON. O Mammon, Mammon! I am punished now for bowing
the knee to him. Is there nothing left of your settlement? Fifty
thousand dollars a year it secured to you, as we all thought.
Only half the securities could be called speculative. The other
half were gilt-edged. What has become of it all?

ERMYNTRUDE. The speculative ones were not paid up; and the
gilt-edged ones just paid the calls on them until the whole show
burst up.

THE ARCHDEACON. Ermyntrude: what expressions!

ERMYNTRUDE. Oh bother! If you had lost ten thousand a year what
expressions would you use, do you think? The long and the short
of it is that I can't live in the squalid way you are accustomed
to.

THE ARCHDEACON. Squalid!

ERMYNTRUDE. I have formed habits of comfort.

THE ARCHDEACON. Comfort!!

ERMYNTRUDE. Well, elegance if you like. Luxury, if you insist.
Call it what you please. A house that costs less than a hundred
thousand dollars a year to run is intolerable to me.

THE ARCHDEACON. Then, my dear, you had better become lady's maid
to a princess until you can find another millionaire to marry
you.