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"At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities."
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Introduction - Page 2
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indeed, it is even now impossible to live in England without
sometimes feeling how much that country lost in not being
conquered by him as well as by Julius Caesar.
However, on this May afternoon in 1796, it is early days with
him. He is only 26, and has but recently become a general, partly
by using his wife to seduce the Directory (then governing France)
partly by the scarcity of officers caused by the emigration as
aforesaid; partly by his faculty of knowing a country, with all
its roads, rivers, hills and valleys, as he knows the palm of his
hand; and largely by that new faith of his in the efficacy of
firing cannons at people. His army is, as to discipline, in a
state which has so greatly shocked some modern writers before
whom the following story has been enacted, that they, impressed
with the later glory of "L'Empereur," have altogether refused to
credit it. But Napoleon is not "L'Empereur" yet: he has only just
been dubbed "Le Petit Caporal," and is in the stage of gaining
influence over his men by displays of pluck. He is not in a
position to force his will on them, in orthodox military fashion,
by the cat o' nine tails. The French Revolution, which has
escaped suppression solely through the monarchy's habit of being
at least four years in arrear with its soldiers in the matter of
pay, has substituted for that habit, as far as possible, the
habit of not paying at all, except in promises and patriotic
flatteries which are not compatible with martial law of the
Prussian type. Napoleon has therefore approached the Alps in
command of men without money, in rags, and consequently
indisposed to stand much discipline, especially from upstart
generals. This circumstance, which would have embarrassed an
idealist soldier, has been worth a thousand cannon to Napoleon.
He has said to his army, "You have patriotism and courage; but
you have no money, no clothes, and deplorably indifferent food.
In Italy there are all these things, and glory as well, to be
gained by a devoted army led by a general who regards loot as the
natural right of the soldier. I am such a general. En avant, mes
enfants!" The result has entirely justified him. The army
conquers Italy as the locusts conquered Cyprus. They fight all
day and march all night, covering impossible distances and
appearing in incredible places, not because every soldier carries
a field marshal's baton in his knapsack, but because he hopes to
carry at least half a dozen silver forks there next day.
It must be understood, by the way, that the French army does not
make war on the Italians. It is there to rescue them from the
tyranny of their Austrian conquerors, and confer republican
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