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    The Fields of Fancy

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    THE FIELDS OF FANCY[88]

    It was in Rome--the Queen of the World that I suffered a misfortune
    that reduced me to misery & despair[89]--The bright sun & deep azure
    sky were oppressive but nought was so hateful as the voice of Man--I
    loved to walk by the shores of the Tiber which were solitary & if the
    sirocco blew to see the swift clouds pass over St. Peters and the many
    domes of Rome or if the sun shone I turned my eyes from the sky whose
    light was too dazzling & gay to be reflected in my tearful eyes I
    turned them to the river whose swift course was as the speedy
    departure of happiness and whose turbid colour was gloomy as grief--

    Whether I slept I know not or whether it was in one of those many
    hours which I spent seated on the ground my mind a chaos of despair &
    my eyes for ever wet by tears but I was here visited by a lovely
    spirit whom I have ever worshiped & who tried to repay my adoration by
    diverting my mind from the hideous memories that racked it. At first
    indeed this wanton spirit played a false part & appearing with sable
    wings & gloomy countenance seemed to take a pleasure in exagerating
    all my miseries--and as small hopes arose to snatch them from me &
    give me in their place gigantic fears which under her fairy hand
    appeared close, impending & unavoidable--sometimes she would cruelly
    leave me while I was thus on the verge of madness and without
    consoling me leave me nought but heavy leaden sleep--but at other
    times she would wilily link less unpleasing thoughts to these most
    dreadful ones & before I was aware place hopes before me--futile but
    consoling[90]--

    One day this lovely spirit--whose name as she told me was Fantasia
    came to me in one of her consolotary moods--her wings which seemed
    coloured by her tone of mind were not gay but beautiful like that of
    the partridge & her lovely eyes although they ever burned with an
    unquenshable fire were shaded & softened by her heavy lids & the black
    long fringe of her eye lashes--She thus addressed me--You mourn for
    the loss of those you love. They are gone for ever & great as my power
    is I cannot recall them to you--if indeed I wave my wand over you you

    will fancy that you feel their gentle spirits in the soft air that
    steals over your cheeks & the distant sound of winds & waters may
    image to you their voices which will bid you rejoice for that they
    live--This will not take away your grief but you will shed sweeter
    tears than those which full of anguish & hopelessness now start from
    your eyes--This I can do & also can I take you to see many of my
    provinces my fairy lands which you have not yet visited and whose
    beauty will while away the heavy time--I have many
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