Chapter 28 - Page 2

"But I did not dare. She was silent, with eyelids lowered, evidently
having no strength to speak further. Then her deformed face began to
tremble and shrivel, and she feebly pushed me back.

"'Why has all this happened? Why?'

"'Forgive me,' said I.

"'Yes, if you had not killed me,' she cried suddenly, and her eyes shone
feverishly. 'Forgiveness--that is nothing. . . . If I only do not die!
Ah, you have accomplished what you desired! I hate you!'

"Then she grew delirious. She was frightened, and cried:

"'Fire, I do not fear . . . but strike them all . . . He has gone. . . .
He has gone.' . . .

"The delirium continued. She no longer recognized the children, not even
little Lise, who had approached. Toward noon she died. As for me, I was
arrested before her death, at eight o'clock in the morning. They took
me to the police station, and then to prison, and there, during eleven
months, awaiting the verdict, I reflected upon myself, and upon my past,
and I understood it. Yes, I began to understand from the third day. The
third day they took me to the house." . . .

Posdnicheff seemed to wish to add something, but, no longer having the
strength to repress his sobs, he stopped. After a few minutes, having
recovered his calmness, he resumed:

"I began to understand only when I saw her in the coffin." . . .

He uttered a sob, and then immediately continued, with haste:

"Then only, when I saw her dead face, did I understand all that I had
done. I understood that it was I, I, who had killed her. I understood
that I was the cause of the fact that she, who had been a moving,
living, palpitating being, had now become motionless and cold, and that
there was no way of repairing this thing. He who has not lived through
that cannot understand it."

*****

We remained silent a long time. Posdnicheff sobbed and trembled before
me. His face had become delicate and long, and his mouth had grown
larger.

"Yes," said he suddenly, "if I had known what I now know, I should never
have married her, never, not for anything."

Again we remained silent for a long time.

"Yes, that is what I have done, that is my experience, We must
understand the real meaning of the words of the Gospel,--Matthew, V.
28,--'that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed
adultery'; and these words relate to the wife, to the sister, and not
only to the wife of another, but especially to one's own wife."

THE END.