Chapter 6 - Page 2

believed myself to have changed my inner I--were the
same as before), I remained in that comfortable attitude of mine
until the very moment of bedtime.

Yet, no sooner had I begun to grow drowsy with the conning over
of my sins than in a flash I recollected a particularly shameful
sin which I had suppressed at confession time. Instantly the
words of the prayer before confession came back to my memory and
began sounding in my ears. My peace was gone for ever. "For if
thou concealest aught, then great will be thy sin." Each time
that the phrase recurred to me I saw myself a sinner for whom no
punishment was adequate. Long did I toss from side to side as I
considered my position, while expecting every moment to be
visited with the divine wrath--to be struck with sudden death,
perhaps!--an insupportable thought! Then suddenly the reassuring
thought occurred to me: "Why should I not drive out to the
monastery when the morning comes, and see the priest again, and
make a second confession?" Thereafter I grew calmer.