Chapter 27

DIMITRI

WHEN we returned to the house from our stroll, Varenika declined
to sing as she usually did in the evenings, and I was conceited
enough to attribute this to my doing, in the belief that its
reason lay in what I had said on the bridge. The Nechludoffs
never had supper, and went to bed early, while to-night, since
Dimitri had the toothache (as Sophia Ivanovna had foretold), he
departed with me to his room even earlier than usual. Feeling
that I had done all that was required of me by my blue collar and
gilt buttons, and that every one was very pleased with me, I was
in a gratified, complacent mood, while Dimitri, on the other
hand, was rendered by his quarrel with his sister and the
toothache both taciturn and gloomy. He sat down at the table, got
out a couple of notebooks--a diary and the copy-book in which it
was his custom every evening to inscribe the tasks performed by
or awaiting him--and, continually frowning and touching his cheek
with his hand, continued writing for a while.

"Oh, DO leave me alone!" he cried to the maid whom Sophia
Ivanovna sent to ask him whether his teeth were still hurting
him, and whether he would not like to have a poultice made. Then,
saying that my bed would soon be ready for me and that he would
be back presently, he departed to Lubov Sergievna's room.

"What a pity that Varenika is not good-looking and, in general,
Sonetchka!" I reflected when I found myself alone. "How nice it
would be if, after I have left the University, I could go to her
and offer her my hand! I would say to her, 'Princess, though no
longer young, and therefore unable to love passionately, I will
cherish you as a dear sister. And you,' I would continue to her
mother, 'I greatly respect; and you, Sophia Ivanovna, I value
highly. Therefore say to me, Varenika (since I ask you to be my
wife), just the simple and direct word YES.' And she would give
me her hand, and I should press it, and say, 'Mine is a love
which depends not upon words, but upon deeds.' And suppose," next
came into my head, "that Dimitri should suddenly fall in love
with Lubotshka (as Lubotshka has already done with him), and
should desire to marry her? Then either one or the other of us
would have to resign all thought of marriage. Well, it would be
splendid, for in that case I should act thus. As soon as I had
noticed how things were, I should make no remark, but go to
Dimitri and say, 'It is no use, my friend, for you and I to
conceal our feelings from one another. You know that my love for
your sister will terminate only with my life. Yet I know all; and
though you have deprived me of all hope, and have rendered me an
unhappy man, so that Nicolas Irtenieff will